


Won't Happen Again

by Justkillingtimewhileiwait



Category: Chicago Med, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2018-10-07 10:16:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10358109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justkillingtimewhileiwait/pseuds/Justkillingtimewhileiwait
Summary: Starting as an epilogue to Chicago Med episode 2x17 this Halsteadx2+Lindsay story is a collection of requests and prompts from readers. We follow the antics of these three as they navigate the drama in their life.





	1. Chapter 1

Jay spotted him slumped over a beer in the far back booth. It was one of the rare occasions he felt sorry for the guy. But he was sure today had been a tough one for him so when he'd called and asked Jay to meet him for a beer Jay didn't hesitate to agree. 

Jay stopped briefly at the bar to greet a few friends and order a beer before making his way to the back of the bar. He plunked his beer on the table and sat on the stool across from his brother. 

"Hey, how you holding up?" Jay asked Will. 

Will raised his head and gave a forced smile as his answer. "Hey, thanks for meeting me." 

"Of course," Jay nodded. 

They sipped their beer in silence, both casually scanning the bar, watching the patrons laugh and drink their daily stress away. 

"You okay?" Jay asked after a few minutes. Will was the talkative one of the two and his lengthy silence had Jay concerned. 

"Do you know that most doctors consider suicide at some point during their residency?" Will asked, still shocked by this fact. 

Jay's back straightened, his eyes inspected Will looking for signs his big brother was sending him distress signals. 

Will raised his hand. "I'm fine. But that's just it. It never occurred to me. I never got to that place. I had no idea so many residents struggled like that." He took a swig of his beer. "I don't know, maybe it's the Halstead genes. Push everything down, don't feel too much and sure as hell don't talk about your feelings." He laughed bitterly. "Can you imagine what dad would say if he walked in here right now? The names he'd call us?"

Jay snorted and took swig of beer. 

"And now we have these women in our lives, wanna talk about feelings all the damn time," Will moaned. 

"Speak for yourself," Jay said flatly. "Erin's harder to crack then a damn bank vault." 

"I don't know man, the way that girl's eyes light up whenever someone says your name, she can't hide those feelings," Will teased. 

Jay smirked confidently, "Well, I mean when you've got the best," he bragged. 

Will laughed shaking his head, "Shut up."

"Seems to me you're the one who's got all kinds of feelings to work out," Jay teased, putting air quotes around the word feelings. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"Dude, you're living with one girl and can't shut up about another," Jay observed. 

"That's not true!" Will said defensively. 

"No? Nat this, Nat that, all the damn time," Jay mocked. "Nina's gonna catch on soon and you're gonna find yourself homeless," Jay warned. "And don't," he continued raising his finger and pointing at Will, "even consider crashing on my couch. No way am am I dealing with you and Erin first thing in the morning."

"Not much of a morning person is she?" Will asked laughing, avoiding Jay's comments about Natalie. 

"You have no idea," Jay laughed but there was something in his eyes that told Will Jay was perfectly content to deal with Erin's grumpy moods. 

Will laughed too. He'd never seen Jay like this before. His dark brooding little brother, who would rather hide in his room than deal with the world and then later ran away to war so he wouldn't have to deal with his own demons only to be saddled with even more demons, seemed more settled and more at peace these days, happy even. He'd had his doubts about Erin, especially after she dropped into a self destructive spiral without concern that she'd gutted Jay, but clearly she had got her shit together and was helping him carry his load. 

"Hey, where'd you go?" Jay asked, drawing Will's attention back. 

Will second guessed himself for a moment before speaking, but after today he knew he just needed to say what was on his mind. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when we were kids and after... after you got home. And I'm sorry you had to deal with dad on your own when mom died," he blurted out. 

Jay didn't respond at first, just took a swig of beer and swallowed, grimacing like the liquid burned going down. "It the past man," he said, waving off Will's apology. 

"Well, it won't happen again. You need anything..."

"I'm good, but thanks. Besides you called me remember?" Jay said interrupting Will. 

"Yeah, I did," Will nodded. The silence stretched between them again before Will grew impatient with his own mood. "Okay enough of this, you see the Sox game last night? Quintana pitched like shit!"

"It's only spring training," Jay reasoned. 

Will and Jay argued baseball and drank beer after beer until a petite brunette placed a hand on each of their shoulders. 

"I don't know why you waste your breath, the Cubs are gonna kick their asses again anyway," Erin announced amused. 

"Erin! What are you doing here babe, thought you were having dinner with a friend tonight," Jay asked as he leaned over to kiss her. 

"I was, that was hours ago and then I got a call from the bar owner," she said thumbing in Herman's direction, " said there were two rowdy Irish boys disturbing the peace and drinking all his beer," she laughed. "Poor man wants to close up and go home."

Jay and Will looked around the now empty bar then at each other and laughed drunkenly. They had lost track of time and closed the bar down. 

"Hermann!" Will called, "since when you shy about kicking people out?" 

Hermann laughed as he walked over to them. "Since never, but I know you had a rough day, figured I'd bend the rules a bit for you."

"Well I appreciate that," Will said slightly slurred, "but you didn't have to call us a chaperone. We know how to hail cabs."

"Eh," Hermann shrugged. "I'll sleep better knowing you two goons aren't out inflicting your enthusiasm for the Sox on the rest of this fine city. No one deserves that." He said in mock seriousness while walking them to the door. 

Will flung his arm around Erin's shoulder. "Lindsay, I like you," Will announced, "even if you are a Cubs fan." 

Erin laughed up at him and shook her head. When drunk the Halstead boys thought the were even more charming. 

"Hey," Jay called a step behind them. "That's my girl you got your grubby hands on." He moaned. 

"Relax Halstead, I ain't trying to steal your girl," Will mocked as he pulled Erin closer to his side, knowing it would fuel Jay's fire. 

Erin rolled her eyes, it was gonna be a long drive getting these two home.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've had several requests and prompts to extend this story so here's the first of three new chapters/requests. Hope you enjoy!

Erin could hear their boisterous conversation half way down the hall. She smiled to herself. When Will first rolled back into town last year Jay had seemed uneasy not knowing what his unpredictable playboy brother was up to. But Will had surprised Jay, deciding to stay, finding a job he was passionate about and dedicated to and settling back into Chicago life. This last while, since Mouse had rejoined the army and they'd both moved in with their girlfriends, the brothers had been hanging out as often as schedules permitted. 

As Erin twisted the handle on the front door she was greeted by the smell of pizza and sound of hockey coming from the tv. Apparently it was Jay's turn to host game night. She didn't mind. Will was good company and the way he and Jay teased and laughed at each other always made for a fun evening. She loved seeing Jay smile. He didn't do it enough and was glad he had this chance to rebuild a relationship with his brother. 

When they caught sight of Erin struggling down the hall with grocery bags they both jumped up to take them from her. 

"Hey," they both greeted her, Jay leaning in for a hello kiss. 

"You should have text, we would have met you down at the car," Jay offered. 

"I was good," she smiled watching the boys unpack the bags. She shook her head wishing, not for the first time, she could have met the woman who raised these two charming, over confident ,considerate, stubborn as hell, goof balls. 

"Pizza just got here a minute ago babe, go get some," Jay said passing her a beer as he put things away in the fridge. 

Erin didn't need to be told twice. She took up residence in the middle of the couch and pulled out a slice of pizza. Within minutes the boys were back taking a seat on either side of her. Erin leaned into Jay's side and they all settled into eating and watching the game. 

Jay waited until the period ended before springing the news on Erin. 

"So," he began "Will's gonna crash here for a couple nights if you're cool with that?"

Erin's eyes went wide with surprise and curiosity, "Of course," she replied "but why, what happened? What did you do," she pinned Will with a look. 

Nina was a sweet girl, Erin liked her. Although it took some time to get use to just how cheerful and energetic she always was, she enjoyed the few times they'd gone out on double dates. Jay had been shocked when Will announced he was moving in with Nina so quickly and had bet Erin a c-note they wouldn't last six months. Erin had no desire to loose the bet. 

"I, ah, umm" Will stuttered. "Why do you think it's something I did?" Will whined. 

Erin cocked her head to the side and gave him a pointed look. 

"He kissed Nat," Jay ratted him out. 

"What!" Erin gave Will a nasty look, letting him know he was in her bad books. 

"And Nina walked in on it, at work, in the lounge," Jay continued to throw his brother under the bus. 

"Will! You kissed her at work? What were you thinking?" Erin admonished. 

"Gee thanks little brother, as if I didn't feel bad enough now I'm in shit with Erin," Will grumbled. 

"WE," Jay over emphasized pointing between himself and Erin, "don't keep secrets. See Will, THAT'S how you make a relationship work," he teased his brother. 

Erin smacked Jay's arm lightly, "don't rub it in Jay. I'm sure you're brother feels like the biggest ass in the world right now," Erin said, letting Will know he'd be in even more trouble if he wasn't feeling guilty as hell. 

Will nodded but couldn't help but take his brother's bait. "No secrets huh?" He goaded. 

"None," Jay said but his confidence wavered not knowing what Will was up to. 

"So she knows about Susie Peters?" Will asked, a shit eating grin on his face. 

"Will," Jay warned. "That's not what I meant and you know it!" Jay said sending death glares at his brother. Will just chuckled. 

Erin knew there was a story coming and egged Will on to tell her more. 

"Susie was the girl Jay was completely in love with in the third grade," Will began, ignoring the nasty looks Jay was giving him and enjoying the embarrassed pink traveling up Jay's neck. "She ignored Jay completely. Didn't even know he existed," Will continued, "So Jay decided he needed to do something big to get her attention."

"Will," Jay warned again, embarrassed. Erin looked over at the sheepish smile on Jay's face and the embarrassed flush of his skin. She smiled at how adorable he looked flustered by his brother's tale telling. 

"So Jay made a banner," Will said, ignoring Jay's warning again. "Taped together all dads old newspapers and painted a big sign on them. Then he rigged up som string and decided to hand the thing between two trees on the school yard before everyone came to school one morning. He climbed up the one tree and got the first side up no problem," Will began laughing and had to pause to regain control before he could finish his story. "But he got stuck in the second tree. His belt buckle at the back hooked on a branch," Will laughed some more, "Oh Erin you would have killed yourself laughing if you were there! Hot shot here tried to get himself loose, took him half an hour."

"Would have only been a minute if your stupid ass would have climbed up and helped me," Jay complained. 

"And missed the show! Hell no!" Will laughed at Jay. 

"Did you get down?" Erin asked, half feeling sorry for little Jay, half laughing with Will. 

"Oh he got down alright, but not until the yard was full of kids and with nothing but his Spider-Man undies on!" Will chuckled heartily at his memory. 

"Pants split when I was trying to unhook myself, ripped clean off," Jay said sulkily. 

"What happened with Susie?" Erin asked. 

"Oh she noticed, the whole damn school did," Will chuckled. "Noticed as Jay ran all the way back home for new pants." Will couldn't stop laughing. 

"Oh yeah smart ass, laugh all you want. Wait till I tell Erin about the time you performed at an Irish wedding decked out in a traditional kilt, at an outdoor service, in high winds," Jay teased, breaking out in laughter at the suddenly serious expression on Will's face. 

"No!!" Erin laughed. "Please tell me you had something on underneath," Erin gasped. 

"Nope!" Jay replied, a shit eating grin on his face matching the one Will displayed minutes ago. "Will was sixteen and the bride's mother fainted. Probably from shock at how small.."

"It was freezing outside!" Will interrupted loudly, his cheeks flushed. 

Erin roared with laughter along with Jay. 

They continued on like this late into the night, telling embarrassing story after story about each other, Erin laughing so hard her sides hurt. She loved seeing them both so relaxed. 

/

The next morning Will met Erin at the coffee machine, they exchanged quiet hellos, Will remembering Jay saying she was a bear in the mornings. 

"Jay leave already?" Will asked pouring a coffee for himself. 

"Yeah, got called in around four," Erin replied over the rim of her hot coffee. 

"Oh damn! Im so glad he moved in with you," Will announced, pulling his head out of the fridge. "Real milk!" He exclaimed holding the carton up in victory. 

Erin wrinkled her nose. "I hate that almond stuff." 

"Right! It's gross," Will agreed. 

They sipped their coffee in silence across the breakfast bar from each other for a few minutes before Will decided to risk a real conversation with her. 

"Can I ask your opinion on something?" He hedged. 

"Sure," Erin shrugged. 

"I don't know what to do with this whole Nina, Nat thing," he admitted. 

Erin snorted, "You know I'm not exactly an expert on matters of the heart right?"

Will nodded slowly not wanting to say the wrong thing. "You are a woman though, and Jay says you have amazing instincts and you know the story," he reasoned. 

"I can't tell you what to do Will, but it's not fair to lead either of them on. Maybe figure out what you want and be honest about it with them," she offered. 

Will nodded, it wasn't something he didn't already know but he appreciated she wasn't judging him for his actions. 

"Just do me a favour," Erin asked. 

"What's that?" He replied. 

"Figure it out soon? This being all nice and having heart to hearts first thing in the morning isn't gonna fly with me for long," she said sarcastically, but the smile that accompanied it was soft and genuine. 

Will chuckled, "Message heard ma'am."

"I need to head out, make sure you lock up," she said and squeezed his shoulder as she walked past him. "Try not to kiss anyone new today!" She teased over her shoulder. 

Will shook his head laughing as he cleaned up the coffee mugs, the more time he spent around Erin the more he realized just how good a fit she was for his brother.


	3. Chapter 3

He came out of the exam room peeling his gloves off and scanned the ED. A smile spread across his face when he saw her standing at the desk filling out paperwork. He came around to her side quietly and nudged her playfully. 

"You spelled abdominal wrong," he teased. 

Erin looked up from her report and gave Will a soft shove, laughing, "I did not!" 

He chuckled back at her, "What brings you to my office on this fine evening," he asked. 

"Rape victim," Erin nodded solemnly towards one of the exam rooms. "Just waiting for the okay to go interview her."

Will nodded, he could see Choi and April through the crack in the door with Erin's victim. 

"Well I have some good news for you while you're waiting," Will offered. 

"Oh yeah," Erin stopped writing her notes and turned to look at Will. 

"Last night was officially my last night sleeping on your couch," he bragged. 

"Oh," Erin exclaimed trying to sound more curious then relieved. 

"Gee Erin, why don't you tell me how you really feel about me crashing with you guys," Will teased. 

"Stop. You know you're welcome to stay with us, anytime."

"There's a but in there," Will laughed as Erin rolled her eyes. "I know, not exactly what every couple wants, to have their big brother mooching off them," Will admitted. 

"So you gonna tell me what happened?" Erin probed. 

"Nina and I talked, worked it out. I'm no longer in the dog house and am allowed to move back home," he explained. 

"That's great," Erin was happy Will decided to focus on his relationship with Nina. She was about to tell him so when she caught him staring with daydream eyes across the ED. Erin followed his line of sight and shook her head. He was watching Nat talk to another doctor. "Hey," Erin said touching Will's arm. "You sure that's what you really want?"

"What?" Will asked, pulling his focus back to Erin. 

"Nina, you sure that's where you want to be?" Erin clarified and nodded in Nat's direction letting Will know she'd caught him staring at her. 

Will glanced at Nat then turned back to Erin and squared his shoulders. "Yes. It's the right decision," he confirmed. 

Erin opened her mouth to say more but Will got called away to tend to another patient. She shrugged it off as Dr. Choi motioned to her that they were ready for Erin to interview her victim. 

//

Two weeks later Will stood waiting anxiously by the ED entrance watching the rain pound down when Miss. Goodwin put her hand on his arm. 

"Dr. Halstead, we're clear on this right?" She asked gently. "You cannot be involved in the treatment of this patient." She said firmly. 

Will only nodded. Words wouldn't form past the lump in his throat. Time was moving way too slowly. That ambulance needed to get here already. 

The ambulance pulled up a moment later and backed into the bay, trauma team pushing past Will. The ambulance doors flung open. 

"PD in the house," he heard Maggie call. The gurney was lowered out and updates on the victims status exchanges. Will tried to focus on their words, ascertain how bad the injuries were but his heart was thumping loudly in his ears. "Baghdad," Maggie directed the team as they rolled past Will. He caught a glimpse of the victims face, pale and rain soaked. He turned, about to follow, when he caught sight of the cop who rode in with the victim. She was rain soaked too, her hair plastered to her face and her hands, shirt sleeves and vest were blood stained. She approached slowly, looking exhausted and at a loss for what to do with herself. Will glanced towards Baghdad. As much as he wanted to barge in and take over they'd refuse to let him and it would only distract from their efforts to save a life. 

"Will?" Her horse voice croaked. 

Will turned his gaze back on the woman approaching him. Her eyes were filled with questions and fear. She was looking for him to tell her it was going to be okay, that this was just a bad dream they'd wake up from and everything would be fine. He wanted someone to tell him that too. 

Will knew what he needed to do. He hadn't been there before but he could be now. Not in the trauma room, calling out medical orders but here with this girl who needed his support and reassurance. 

"Come on Erin, let's get you checked out and cleaned up," he said gently ushering her towards another exam bay. 

She shook her head. "I'm fine. It's, it's not my blood," she whispered. She watched the commotion unfolding in Baghdad. To the untrained eye it seemed like a chaotic nightmare. He knew he needed to move Erin away from the sight as they worked to make Jay stable enough for surgery. 

Will squeezed her shoulder, "Hey, they're the best, and Jay's the strongest man I know. Let's get you cleaned up and by then they'll have an update for us okay?"

Erin didn't reply but she let Will lead her towards the doctors lounge. She didn't seem to know what to do with herself once there. Will lead her to the sink so she could wash up. 

Erin stared in the mirror. She looked like a drowned rat and had blood smudges on her face and neck. She looked down at her hands. Jay's blood stained them. Her mind flashed back to reaching her hand under his vest and pulling it out wet and red. She'd never ripped a vest off so fast, calling for assistance over the radio before dropping it and pressing down on his wound with both hands, blood seeping through her fingers. She couldn't help but recall the last time she'd escorted a downed officer in their unit to med. Jules hadn't made it. 

"Stop!" She muttered angrily to herself in the mirror. "Jay isn't Jules and this is not what he needs right now," she berated herself. She shook her head and set to work washing the blood off. 

"Here," Will said appearing in the bathroom doorway. "They're mine so probably way to big but they're clean and dry," he offered placing a tshirt and hoody on the counter next to her. 

She nodded her thanks and he retreated, closing the door behind him to give her privacy to change. Will popped back out onto the ED floor just in time to see Rhodes and a team of nurses roll Jay into the elevator. Maggie approached him, linking her arm through his and squeezing. 

"It looks good," she reassured him. "Bullet missed his heart but punctured an artery.   
Connor clamped it off, they're heading up to repair it now." Will nodded, watching as the elevator doors closed on his brother. "Can I get you anything?"

"No," he said flatly. 

"How's Erin?" Maggie asked. 

Will looked back towards the lounge. "A little stunned I think. Numb from adrenaline probably. I should get back to her," he said turning back to the lounge. 

"Okay, you need anything, just holler."

"Thanks."

Erin was still in the bathroom so Will set to making her a cup of coffee, figuring she'd need warming up. She looked a little more human when she emerged carrying her vest and stained clothes in one hand. Will grabbed a bag for her belongings, passed her the coffee and locked her things in his locker while he updated her on Jay's condition. 

"They'll be a few hours. We can head up to the waiting room in a bit," Will offered. 

Erin nodded wanting to be as close to Jay as possible. 

"What happened?" Jay asked gently. 

"We were ambushed. Factory was supposed to be empty," was all Erin offered. 

Will didn't push. He knew from experience with Jay, talking about events like this wasn't easy. "Where's the rest of the team?" He asked, surprised they weren't all here. 

"Still active shooters on scene. I shouldn't have left them but," Erin shrugged. She had to leave with Jay. He was her partner. It was her job to watch his back. She'd seen backup arriving as they loaded into the ambulance. She prayed the rest of her crew was okay. 

"And the guy who shot Jay?" Will asked, surprised by how much he hoped she'd say the four letter word he wanted to hear. 

"Dead," she answered looking Will in the eye. She'd taken the bastard out as soon as she saw Jay drop. Will nodded his understanding. He should have expected as much. He knew how protective Erin and Jay were of each other on the job. 

Will caught the shake in Erin's hands and the shiver that she tried to hide. He moved next to her on the couch and wrapped his arm around her. "You're freezing, the adrenalines wearing off," he observed. 

They sat quiet for awhile, Erin sipping her coffee worrying about her team and Jay. One fact sat heavy in her chest and she couldn't keep it from Will. 

"It's my fault," she confessed. 

"What?" 

"It's my fault he got shot. They opened fire, we weren't expecting it, I had my back to them and Jay stepped in the line of the fire, pushed me out of the way. That's when he was hit."

"Sounds like my brother," Will acknowledged. 

"I'm sorry," she whispered. 

"Erin, you've nothing to be sorry for," Will assured her squeezing his arm around her tighter. 

"But," she began. 

"But nothing, if you were him? If he'd had his back turned? Don't sit there and tell me you wouldn't have done the same for him. I know you would have. You've done it before," he argued. "There's nothing for you to feel guilty about." 

Erin stared at her hands. All she could think of was how bad things always happened to the people she loved. 

"Hey," Will said putting his finger under her chin and making her look at him. "This isn't on you. Okay?"

Erin gave a poor attempt at a nod. "Can we go upstairs now?"

"Yeah," Will rose and offered her a hand getting up. They walked in silence up to waiting room. 

//

The silence stretched on while they waited for news on how Jay was doing. Will was ready to pull his hair out. Being left to his thoughts was not helping matters. He kept reliving over and over all the mistakes he'd made with Jay. All the times he should have been there for him and wasn't. Erin, sensing his mood reached over and slipped her hand in his. 

"Hey, you said things looked good remember? You're not making me feel very confident right now?" She gently admonished him. 

Will smiled sadly at her, "Sorry. I just," he sighed. It wasn't something he liked to admit outloud but Erin was looking to him for reassurance and apologizing for Jay getting shot, she deserved to know what a crappy brother he really was. He didn't deserve her apologies, especially since she'd done nothing wrong. "I'm not the best big brother," he began.

Erin cocked an eye at him. 

"I'm sure Jay's told you some," he laughed self deprecatingly. "I use to take my frustrations out on him as a kid even though dad was way harder on him then me. Even though he was bullied and picked on too. I should have stood up for him not beat on him."

"You were just kids," Erin offered, trying to get Will to ease up on himself.

"Then later, I knew how sick mom was but I just couldn't face it. I buried my head in booze, partying and girls. Jay came home, went through all that by himself. Mom being sick, dad being an asshole. I should have been here to help him."

Erin didn't respond. Will was right, he should have come home but telling him that wouldn't help change the choices he'd made. Besides she was far from good at making the right decisions herself, she couldn't judge him. 

"And when he was going through stuff after coming home from war, I didn't even bother to check in on him. I knew something wasn't right but I just ignored it, I was so selfish and self absorbed. If Mouse hadn't come around and talked some sense into Jay," he said his voice trailing off. 

Erin wanted to ask more about what happened, what Jay had been through, but it didn't feel right in this moment. She could see Will was just as worried about Jay as she was. She squeezed his hand. 

"It's my experience that these kind of self blame walks down memory lane only lead to hurting the people you love more. You can't change what you did then Will. But you're here now. You'll be here when he wakes up. We both will. He's got us both now." She said not knowing how else to comfort him. 

Will nodded. "He's a lucky son of a bitch my brother,"

Erin tilted her head in question. 

"He's got one hell of a partner, on and off the job," he smiled at her. 

She smiled back. "Yeah well this partner could use a distraction. The waiting is driving me nuts. Please tell me you have more funny stories about Jay?" She pleaded. 

Will laughed. "Oh don't you know it!" 

 

//

Two hours later Connor found Will and Erin sitting surrounded by the Intelligence team in his waiting room. Will pulled Erin up by the hand and lead her over to Connor. 

"What's the news?" Will asked impatiently. 

"It went well," Connor began. Erin couldn't keep up as the two doctors exchanged medical jargon and she squeezed Will's hand impatiently, needing to understand what was happening with Jay. 

"He's gonna make a full recovery. He'll be laid up for a bit but he'll be back to kicking ass soon," Will said in relief. 

The tension left Erin's body as relief flooded her. "Can we see him?"

"Yeah, they're just moving him to a room now. We can go in a couple minutes," Will assured her. "You okay?" He asked noticing how exhausted Erin looked. 

She nodded, but kept her head ducked down. The tension and worry she'd been holding in suddenly wanted out now that she knew Jay would be okay. She was desperate to see him and couldn't stop the tears from forming with all the emotions coursing through her body. She felt Will's arms come around her. 

"It's okay," he whispered in her hair as he rubbed her back. "Just breathe. It's over. He's okay," he reassured himself and Erin. 

//

He was gonna kill them both. God help him, they were the two people he loved more than anything in the world but right now he wanted to strangle them. He could have handled Erin's fussing on her own, especially since her administrations were accompanied by kisses and whispered promises of how she'd make him feel better once he was healed up, but her and Will together? He'd almost rather be back in the hospital. No one needed to be subjected to this kind of mothering. 

What was almost laughable was that Will was far worse then Erin. He'd insisted on moving in for 'a week or two' when Jay was discharged from the hospital to keep an eye on his recovery. As if that wasn't bad enough Jay couldn't even use the damn bathroom without Will trying to 'help' him down the hall. And if Will checked his temperature or blood pressure one more time today Jay was gonna push him out the fucking window. 

"Blood pressure seems to be coming up," Will stated positively. 

"Dreaming of homicide tends to do that to me," Jay mumbled bitterly. He heard Erin choke back a laugh from across the room. 

"Will, do you think you could run out and grab this stuff from the store," Erin asked over sweetly, holding out a list to him. 

Will looked worriedly between Jay and the list "But," he started to protest. 

"Please," she coaxed with big round eyes.

Jay smiled. No way in hell could anyone say no to Erin when she gave that look. He'd even watched Voight crumble under the sweet spell of those big eyes more than once. 

"Umm sure," Will agreed reluctantly. He took the list and headed down the hall, turning back half way "But if he," Will began. 

"It's okay Will, I've got this," Erin said, grabbing his shoulders and turning Will back towards the door. 

When Jay heard the door click closed he let out a breath. "Oh thank fucking god!! Erin I swear I could kiss you right now!" Jay said happily as he pushed himself up on the couch. 

Erin laughed. "I though you were gonna toss him out the window for a minute there," she said coming to help him get more comfortable. 

"Thought crossed my mind," Jay admitted. 

"I'm sorry, I know we're a bit of a pain," she apologized. "You gave us one hell of a scare though baby," she admitted. 

Jay softened. "Hey, I'm good. Rhodes said so remember? No need for doctor mom to move in." He said referring to Will. 

Erin nodded. "He feels bad Jay, he's just trying to be here for you this time."

"I'll talk to him, but can you get him to back off? Go home?" Jay pleaded. 

"Jay, you had major surgery a week ago. You heard Connor list off all the complications that could arise. He just wants to be sure you're healing properly."

Jay was tired and he didn't want to argue with her. He could see the worry in her eyes and hated that he was the one who put it there. So he bit his tongue, for now, and extended his arm out so she could snuggle in beside him and watch tv in peace for a bit before Will returned. 

He chuckled to himself. 

"What's so funny?" Erin asked raising her head to look at him. 

"You turned Will into a house husband with one look," he said with satisfaction. "He's off running your errands like a good little house husband."

Erin giggled. She had a retort ready to tease him about his house husband status but she decided to cut him some slack, he had just taken a bullet for her after all. Erin snuggled back in to his side, enjoying the warmth of his body against hers. 

 

//

Jay could here music. It took him a minute to orientate himself. He was laying in bed with the sun streaming through the windows. When he sat up he remembered why. The damn gun shot wound. They'd insisted he go lay down and have a nap, even though he wanted to watch tv and now here they were blaring music. What the hell were they up to?

Jay hobbled around the corner, ready to blast his two captors when he froze in place. The sight before him had him dumb struck for a moment but then his brain kicked in and he knew exactly how to end his prison sentence. He fished his phone from his pocket and swiped to the camera, switching to video and hitting record. This was too priceless not to use against them. 

Will and Erin had started out making dinner but then Will had pulled out a couple bottles of beer and turned on the radio. He'd found a pop station and turned it up. It had been a stressful week. His brother had almost died, work had been hell and he and Nina hadn't seen much of each other, being on opposite shifts, and the one real conversation they had managed this week ended in an argument. He needed to let loose. Erin burst out laughing as he started singing and danced around her small kitchen. She thanked god he was a better singer than his brother but he still looked like a penguin having a seizure. 

"Dude is that really how you dance," Erin laughed. 

"Of course not! This is my 'fuck it all' dance!" Will exclaimed. 

"You're what?" Erin laughed, confused. 

"You know, I had a shit week and I just wanna say fuck it all! Come on Erin, give it a shot," he coaxed. 

It took him almost a whole song to get Erin to stop feeling self conscious enough to dance with him. But he wasn't disappointed when she finally gave in to the music and started acting crazy with him. 

And that's how Jay found them, dancing like fools, singing along with Gwen about being rich girls. He couldn't have asked for better blackmail material. Erin would die when she found out he recorded this and she would make Will back off in exchange for deleting the video. 

Erin swung around and froze, making eye contact with Jay. Will, wondering what was wrong, stopped and followed her gaze. 

"You did NOT record that," Erin said in her most threatening tone. 

Jay just smiled. 

"You're a dead man, Halstead," she said pointing a finger at him. 

"Mmm, I don't think so, not this week anayway," he winked at her, calling her bluff. 

She scowled at him and put her hands on her hips. She knew this game. 

"What do you want?" She said dryly. 

"Freedom, you back off with the mother hen routine and send Will home and I'll delete the video," Jay negotiated. 

Will barked out a laugh, "Fat chance sickie. You need to rest and heal up. You ain't gonna do that if I'm not here."

"Then I post the video online. It's bound to go viral, you should see it, it's funny shit," Jay bragged. 

"We could take him," Will hedged. Thinking they could get the phone away from Jay. 

"Hell yeah we could," Erin said confidently. 

"Any chance you know his pass code?"

"Of course I do," Erin said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Jay just smirked at them. 

"What the hell do you have to be so damn cocky about, you can barely wipe your own ass right now. You don't think we can get the phone away from you?" Will taunted. 

Jay laughed. "You really want me to believe the two of you would tackle me right now? And risk splitting a stich or breaking one of my nails," he mocked them before strolling back into the bedroom. 

Erin and Will exchanged looks, "I'll slip a sleeping pill in his dinner," Will conspired. 

"I heard that," Jay called over his shoulder. "Send mama Will home or accept your new fate as an Internet star." He hollered at Erin as he continued to walk away. 

Will looked at Erin. They moped in a moment of defeat before Will perked up. 

"We'll get him back," Will asserted sticking out his fist. 

"Damn right we will," Erin replied, bumping her fist against Will's. "But after tonight you're sleeping in your own bed," she ordered. 

"But," Will began to argue. 

"No buts, no way in hell am I risking that video ending up on the internet," she said, turning back to finish dinner preparations. 

"People make a lot of money off viral videos these days you know Erin," Will bargained. "I have a lot of med school debt still." 

"Will," she warned. 

Will raised his hands in surrender. The last thing he need was more woman troubles.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of the prompts I received for this story so unless I receive more or inspiration hits this is the last chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it! Thanks so much for your feedback you all know how to make a girl feel good!

The call came out of the blue. Jay was finally back to work and feeling himself again. He was heading out to pick up some files from Narcotics when Will's name lit up on his phone. Not thinking much of it, he answered. 

"Yo, what's up," Jay greeted his brother. 

"Jay," Will said, the seriousness in his tone caught Jay's attention. "Any chance you can come down to Med?"

"What's going on?" Jay asked, concerned. 

"It's the old man, they just brought him in, think he had a heart attack," Will explained. 

There was silence as Jay processed Will's words. 

"Jay?"

"Yeah, I'm here. I'm on my way," Jay answered. 

He was conflicted the whole drive over. He hadn't spoken to the bastard in probably four years. Hadn't mentioned him outside of one conversation with Will when he first blew into town. Hell, Erin didn't even know what the deal was with his 'daddy issues' just that they didn't talk. But just because he didn't care to speak to his father didn't mean he wanted him dead. In fact just the opposite, he wanted the bastard to live a long, miserable and lonely life. Jay wanted him to feel the consequences of his actions for years to come. 

Will was waiting for him when he walked into Med. 

"What's happening?"

"Rhodes is checking him out, well trying too. He's refusing medical attention, says he doesn't want to be here." Will explained. 

"Why'd he call an ambulance then?"

"Apparently he didn't. Mrs. Jarvis next door saw him hunched over in the yard, called nine one one and came running out. Apparently he was grabbing his chest and couldn't breath." Will elaborated. 

Jay nodded. "Where is he?"

Will led the way to the exam room. When he slid open the door and curtain they were greeted by their father's gruff voice telling off Dr. Rhodes. Jay cringed, embarrassed by his father's behaviour. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" Patrick Halstead barked at Jay. "Think I'm on my death bed? Come to watch me die. Sorry to disappoint you son, but you'll have to wait a little longer for that." 

It was as if no time had past. The four years he'd spent putting distance between him and his father melted away and he was right back to being his father's verbal punching bag. The old man looked different, a little older, a little greyer, carrying a little more weight around the middle but even sitting on the gurney hooked up to a heart monitor he still looked every bit the intimidating bully Jay grew up resenting. 

"Mr. Halstead I need you to lay back on the bed," Connor asked. 

"It's doctor, I'm a god damn doctor, where the hell is the respect around here? I said I'm fine, that means I'm fine, I'm not laying down for no one, especially not some punk like you," Patrick boomed. 

"My apologies Dr. Halstead," Connor began but Patrick cut him off. 

"I don't need your god damn apologies, I need to go home."

"Dad," Jay admonished. 

"Oh it's dad now is it? Not calling me nasty names this time? What you think I forget what you said the last time I saw your sorry excuse for a life. You still playing at cop I see, pretending you're some kind of super hero." Jay's back straightened and he crossed his arms on his chest as if he was insulating himself against his father's mean words. 

"Dad that's enough," Will said sharply. "You're embarrassing yourself."

"Oh look at that, you finally grew some balls, sticking up for the little punk," Patrick laughed. 

"Dr. Halstead," Connor started again more firmly, "Obviously you're a well educated man, surely you know what happened to you today is serious and needs to be addressed," Connor reasoned. "I'm sure you'd insist on running these tests if one of your patients presented as you did."

"I'm retired," Patrick announced gruffly, "thank god. I'm done with all this crap. I want to go home so either you step out of my way or I slap a law suit on your pampered ass," he threatened. 

Jay and Will exchanged a look. Jay rubbed his fingers across his forehead. He really didn't need this crap. He should just walk out and leave the old man to fend for himself. But he couldn't. As much as he wanted to, this was his father. If his mom was here she'd be pleading with her boys to help their father right now. Last thing he needed was the guilt of disappointing his dead mother hanging over him. 

Jay sighed. "Dad, let him run the damn tests, you're here, you're not missing anything at home." 

"Jay's right dad, just let him figure out what happened. You don't like what he has to say after you can leave. Why pay all those years into medical insurance if you're not gonna use it now!" Will bargained. 

"Fine," Patrick conceded, "if you're all gonna gang up on me, but I want these two vultures gone. They're only hovering around waiting for me to kick off thinking there's an inheritance when I'm gone, well there's not so you can just piss off. That damn private school I sent you two ungrateful brats to and your mother's useless cancer treatments sucked up all my hard earned money." 

Jay's blood boiled at the mention of his mother. Will caught Jay's rising tension and ushered him out of the room, asking Connor to update them when he knew something. Will didn't stop until he hay Jay in the doctors' lounge and door closed. 

"That son of a bitch," Jay began. 

Will lifted his hands, "I know, I'm with you Jay."

"With me? You weren't even fucking here when she was dying," Jay raged. 

Will let him rant on for a minute knowing his brother needed to vent, knowing his words were true. Will wasn't there, he was a coward and left Jay to deal with their mother's declining health and death on his own. He lived with that guilt, lived with the fact that he wasn't there when his mother and little brother needed him most. 

"You're right," Will said when Jay was done, "I wasn't there, and I've apologized for that and I feel like shit but I can't change the past. I'm here now, Jay, that's all I've got." 

The fight left Jay at Will's words. "I know. I'm sorry, I just..."

"Weren't exactly expecting a family reunion. I get it," he said putting his hand on his brother's shoulder. "We're cool."

Jay nodded. "What now?" 

"We wait and see what the tests say," Will shrugged. "You're welcome to stay here, help yourself to coffee, but I gotta get back on the floor."

"Thanks," Jay said. He debated staying, despite his father clearly not wanting him there, just to make sure he'd be okay. The decision was made for him when his phone buzzed with a text from Voight telling him to met the team at an address across town. "Hey," he called after Will as he was leaving the room, "text me with the test results, and if he still wants to leave I'll come take him home, I gotta roll," he said indicating the message on his phone was work. 

"Yeah, sounds good," Will acknowledged. "Talk to you later."

//

"Everything okay?" Erin asked as the suited up around the corner from the house they had a warrant to raid. 

"Don't know yet," Jay said vaguely. At Erin's questioning look he pulled her to the side to explain. 

She wasn't able to keep the look of shock off her face. But he didn't blame her. It was the first time he'd ever mentioned his dad to her, other than to say they didn't speak, in the four years they'd know each other. He'd probably look like that too if she'd just told him she'd rushed to the hospital in a flurry of concern for the father she'd cut out of her life just to be verbally abused by the man who'd spent eighteen years making Jay feel worthless. Jay laughed internally. When he put it like that, his relationship with his old man sounded a lot like Erin's relationship with Bunny. Maybe now he understood a bit better why Erin kept going back for more abuse from that woman. Why did family have to be so damn complicated. 

When she recovered from her shock she put her hand on his arm. "Let me know what Will says, and if there's anything you need," she didn't need to finish. 

Jay knew Erin would walk through fire for him. He'd just never tested that because he kept his feeling about past events in his life locked down tight. He'd let them out once, and it nearly drown him. He needed to be in control. Focused. Besides she'd been through enough, asking her to shoulder some of his crap was not only unfair, it was cruel. Erin deserved to be protected from all that mess. 

Jay cleared his head and focused back on work and the house they were about to enter. 

//

"So he just went home?" Erin asked in disbelief. 

"Yeah that's what Will said. He snuck out while they were waiting for the test results to come back, hailed a cab." Jay explained as they drove back to the district after the bust. 

"Wow," Erin said. "Should we go check on him?" 

Jay made a face. He had though the same thing but no way did he want to subject Erin to his father. That was one embarrassment he could live without. 

"Jay," Erin said softly, placing her hand on his leg. "You've met Bunny, more than once, pretty sure it can't be any worse than that." 

He smiled. Of course she knew what he was thinking. He didn't like it, the idea that his dad might lay into him with Erin there, or worse, insult Erin. 

"You don't think I can handle a gruff old man?" She challenged. "Do I need to remind you how long I lived with Hank?" 

Jay let out a small laugh, "Yeah but that's different, Voight actually gives a shit about you." Jay observed. 

Erin nodded. "Look Jay, no pressure, if you don't want me to go with you that's fine, I get it. But it sounds pretty serious and I can tell you want to go so you can drop me off..." 

Jay shook his head, "No, you've been more than open with me. I can do this. Let's go check on him." He said and swung the car around before he could change his mind. 

//

Through the front window Jay could see his father was sitting in his favourite arm chair watching tv. He looked flushed and disheveled. Jay felt awkward walking up the front steps of his childhood home. He didn't know if he should knock or just let himself in. He took a deep breath, glanced down at Erin who smiled reassuringly at him and knocked as he twisted the door handle open. 

The years vanished as Jay stepped through the front door and back in time. Not a thing about the house had changed in twenty years. Same pictures on the wall, same couch, same ugly green carpet. 

"I'm not going back," Patrick said by way of greeting when Jay walked in. He eyed Erin up and down. "What you think bringing a pretty girl with you gonna make me change my mind or act all nice?" 

Erin smiled politely. She already wanted to knock Jay's father into next week but she was here to support Jay, not make things worse. "Dr. Halstead, it's nice to meet you," she said sweetly. 

"I'd say the same to you dear but my son seems to have lost all the manner is mother taught him and hasn't bothered to introduce us," his tone was gentler than a moment before and an attempt at smile crossed the older Halstead's face. For a moment Erin could see the resemblance between Jay and his father. 

"Erin Lindsay," she said stepping forward and sticking her hand out with confidence. He took it and gave it a firm squeeze. 

"Hmm, firm handshake for such a little thing. Don't see that often in a woman. My compliments to your father," Erin let the backhanded compliment slide and Jay cringed. 

Jay motioned for Erin to sit on the couch with him. After an awkward silence where Jay watched his father tune them back out and watch tv Jay cleared his throat. 

"What did they say at the hospital dad?" Jay   
asked. 

"Don't play stupid, Jay, it doesn't look good on you. I know damn well your brother called you and sent you here to drag me back. You bring your cop car and hand cuffs too?"

Jay bit the inside of his cheek loosing his battle with patience. Erin had had enough. 

"Dr. Halstead," she began in a kind but firm voice, "we're not here to drag anyone anywhere. Your sons are concerned about you. They just want to make sure you get the medical care you need. But you're making it clear you'd rather die here alone in your chair watching tv so maybe we should go. I'm sure the neighbours will notice after four or five days of the news paper building up on your porch that you've expired. They'll call the cops, who'll call the coroner, who will stuff your stiff maggot infested body in body bag and hall you down to the morgue for an autopsy to determine cause of death. But I'm sure with your extensive medical training you already knew that and it's clearly the way you'd like to end your life so I'm truly sorry we disrupted your afternoon with our concern," she said calming, rising to her feet. "It was a pleasure to finally meet you, especially since you won't be around much longer." She finished. 

Jay sat with his eyes closed. Part of him was mortified, part of him was bracing for the worst, Erin going off on someone was always cause to hold your breath but she'd never squared off with the likes of his father, and part of him was damn proud of his girl for standing up to the mean old man. 

After a beat of silence Patrick Halstead burst out in a robust full bodied bout of laughter, shocking the hell out of both Jay and Erin. 

"God damn woman, where the hell did you come from?" He said between barks of laughter. That's when Erin saw it. She recognized the sparkle in his eye when he laughed. She bet in his younger years, before he'd become so jaded, he was every bit as cocky and charming as his boys were now. "Where did you find this one?" He said turning to Jay. "She's a real spit fire, nothing like your mother, that woman would roll over for a dead dog." 

Jay got up, ready to sock the old man in the teeth for speaking about his mother like that, when Patrick's laughter turned to coughing and he struggled to catch his breath. He began wheezing and a sweat broke out across his forehead. 

"Dad," Jay said with concern, approaching him. Patrick put his arm out to stop him. 

"I'll get some water," Erin offered making her way towards what she hoped was the kitchen. 

After a few minutes the coughing fit died down. 

"How long has it been like this?" Jay asked. 

Patrick glared at his son, "Why the hell do you even care? You made it clear what you though of me the last time we spoke."

Jay sighed and rubbed his hand across his lips. Why the hell did he care? He was nothing but a mean old man. But Jay knew he couldn't just walk away because at the end of the day that mean old man was his father, his family. 

Thankfully Jay was saved from answering that by the arrival of Will and Connor through the front door. 

"Oh good, more uninvited company," Patrick griped. But there was far much less bite in his bark. He looked tired and worn down to Jay now. "What do you want?"

"You're test results came back dad, they're not good. You need surgery. The sooner the better," Will announced. "I brought Dr. Rhodes because I figured you'd probably trust his word over mine seeing how I'm just one of your useless sons." 

After a good twenty minutes of discussing Patrick's medical condition they finally convinced him to go back to the hospital. Connor promised to have him in and out of surgery before the end of the day. 

Once he was in the operating room Will, Erin and Jay sat side by side in the waiting room. 

"So you finally met the old man," Will observed. 

"I did," Erin replied. 

"How'd that work out?" Will chuckled, knowing his father. 

"She kicked his ass," Jay piped in with pride and squeezed her leg. 

"Of course she did," Will said as he messed up her hair playfully. 

Erin looked up at one brother and then the other. They were smiling at her, the smile that made their eyes sparkle.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one combines several prompts/requests into one chapter: Blackhawks game/double date/Erin knocking someone out and Will being super impressed. Thanks to everyone who continue to submit prompts and for all the amazing feedback. Your comments/messages/reviews motivate me to write more and just generally make me feel amazing lol so thanks for all the love! Xoxo

"Honestly Erin, I think you would love it. It's such a good stress reliever," Nina gushed.   
Erin smiled politely. Nina had spent the better part of the first period of their Blackhawks game double date trying to convince Erin to go to hot yoga with her on Sunday morning. 

Sunday. 

Morning. 

Erin didn't do anything on a Sunday morning that didn't involve her bed and sleep. 

"You should go babe, then hit your jazzer-size class afterwards," Jay whispered in her ear, mocking her. Erin shot him a warning look then got an evil grin on her face. 

"Honestly I'm not sure it's my thing but Jay was talking about how he'd love to try it just the other day, weren't you babe," she said sweetly. 

The nasty look Jay shot Erin almost made her burst out laughing. Will did laugh out loud. "You'll love it Jay," he teased. 

"And so will you Will, weren't you telling me how you wanted to take more of an interest in Nina's interests? Here's your chance!" Jay countered. 

Erin snickered as Will's face fell flat. 

"Great! It's settled then," Nina said cheerfully. "We have our next double date planned. Sunday morning at the yoga studio!"

"Wait, what?" Erin asked perplexed at how that had gone south so fast. 

Jay slipped his arm around her. "Awe, did your little plan backfire on you?" He whispered kissing her ear. 

"Don't get cocky, you're roped into this now too!" She reminded him. 

He made a face at her then whispered, "I'm gonna get the spot right behind you, at least then I'll have a good view." He winked at her then turned his attention back to the game. Erin smacked his chest lightly and laughed. 

A few minutes later Jay and Erin chuckled together, amused as sweet perky Nina stood and screamed angrily at the ref, wildly shaking her arms around, disgusted with his call. Will looked on, a proud smile on his face. 

"Girl's got some fire under all that sunshine and rainbows," Jay mumbled to Erin. 

"Hmm makes you wonder what she'd do to your brother if he doesn't stop making heart eyes at a certain someone," Erin murmured into his chest. 

"Hey, it's a hockey game not the back seat of a car at a drive-in. Would you two stop whispering sweet nothings and making out already," Will shouted loud enough to make several people turn and look at them. 

"Jealous?" Jay volleyed while Erin blushed at the attention they'd drawn. 

"Hell no," Will said throwing his arm over Nina's shoulder and planting a big wet kiss on he cheek. 

Nina giggled as she wiped his slobber from her face. "Gee thanks." 

Two hours later they made their way through the jovial crowd out to the parking lot. "So should we celebrate the win with a few drinks at Molly's?" Nina proposed. The group agreed and headed out to the bar. 

They'd settled at a table in the busy bar with their drinks and light conversation for a couple hours. The boys teased each other in an attempt to out do the other making the girls laugh, their laugher getting louder with each round of beer delivered to the table. 

"Hey, you want to keep it down over there, you're not the only paying customers," a disgruntled patron called out. The group turned to look. A heavy set middle aged man sat glaring at them, his drinking buddy looked embarrassed and mouthed 'I'm sorry.' It was obvious the men had also been indulging in alcohol for the better part of the evening. Jay nodded at them, in polite apology then the group went back to their conversation. 

"Hey," the man hollered, getting up from his chair, "I'm talking to you, what happened to showing a bit of respect?" He grumbled as he approached the table. 

Jay went to stand and Erin put her hand on his arm halting him. "Let it go," she said, "both of you," she added pinning Will with a look. 

Will turned on the charm, "I'm sorry sir, we didn't mean to disrupt your evening. We'll keep it down," he smiled apologetically. 

The man, seemingly satisfied he'd been paid the attention he craved, returned to his seat. Not long after Erin and Nina excused themselves to the bathroom. 

"Can I ask you something?" Nina asked coming up beside Erin at the sinks to wash her hands. 

"Sure," Erin shrugged. 

"What's the deal with Will and Nat?" She asked. 

Erin froze. Nina's question sounded casual enough but she knew the woman was no fool. 

"Umm, maybe that's something you should ask Will," Erin tried to redirect her, feeling caught in the middle of something she'd rather not be a part of. 

"I did, he said it was nothing but I'm not an idiot. I see the looks at work and hear the talk. And there was that kiss I waked in on," Nina pointed out. 

Erin didn't respond right away. She liked Nina a lot. She deserved love and happiness and all the rest. Erin knew Will had some conflicting feelings but he was Jay's brother and she didn't want to cause trouble there either. 

"Look I get it, he's Jay's brother and there's loyalty there for you but I just want to know where I stand you know? I don't want to be blind sided. I think I deserve to know if he's as committed to this as I am or if he moved in simply to save himself some money," she said sounding more upset. 

"Nina I don't think he'd use you like that. He definitely cares about you," Erin assured her.

Nina conceded. "Yes I think he does care but I also don't think I'm the only one on his mind. I've tried to do everything right you know? But it feels a lot like I'm loosing him," she said sighing. "I love him but I'm scared he's gonna break my heart," she admitted quietly. 

Erin felt for her. She could understand where she was coming from. Erin considered her words carefully, the girl deserved the truth, it's what Erin would want herself but she still felt really uncomfortable being put in this position. She made a mental note to make Will pay. "Look I'm definitely no expert on relationships so I can't really tell you what to do but I know for me, I've always had more success when I've dealt with things head on and trusted my instincts rather then burying my head in the sand, I only end up getting hurt that way. I think you should confront him, tell him what you see and how you feel," Erin suggested. 

Nina nodded, "Okay. Thanks," she smiled sadly. Erin knew it wasn't exactly what Nina wanted to hear. "And thanks for talking to me about this."

"Sure, no problem," Erin lied with a empathetic smile. 

Erin followed Nina out of the restroom only to come to an abrupt halt as Nina was plowed over by someone. Nina lost her balance and fell against the wall. 

"Oh I'm sorry," she said, righting herself. 

"Watch it lady, are you blind! There's other people here you know. You don't own the place," the man, who Erin now realized was the grumpy patron from earlier, grumbled. 

"It's you that should be apologizing," Erin spoke up. 

The man grunted at them and muttered something sounding an awful lot like 'stupid bitch' under his breath as he went to push past Erin. Somewhere in the back of her head Erin knew she should just head back to the table but Nina was rubbing her shoulder from where it had slammed into the wall and she just couldn't let this jerk get away. She reached out and grabbed his arm. 

"I said it's you that needs to apologize," Erin stated with more authority. 

The man turned and gave Erin a dirty look. "I ain't apologizing for shit," he spit at her. 

"Erin it's okay," Nina said trying to pull her away. 

"No, actually, it's not," Erin replied without taking her eyes off the man. 

Jay wasn't sure what was going on when he spied Erin and Nina outside the women's bathroom but judging from the look on Erin's face he knew something bad was about to happen. "Shit," he muttered putting his drink down and getting up from his seat. 

"What?" Will questioned turning to look in the direction Jay was. 

"Erin's about to start a bar fight," Jay replied as he headed her way. 

Will followed close behind watching the escalating argument between Erin and the drunk who had harassed them earlier and chuckled, "No way. There's no way Erin could take out that guy," but as the words left his lips he watched as Erin drew back her arm and punched the man square in the face. He staggered back before loosing his balance and falling to the floor. Will stopped, mouth open. "Holy shit," he exclaimed, both shocked and impressed Erin had dropped the guy. Commotion ensued as several staff and patrons came between Erin and her victim. 

"What happened?" Jay asked when he and Will made it to Erin's side. 

"He assaulted and insulted Nina, he needs to apologize before I arrest his drunk ass," she barked loud enough for the man to hear. He seemed a bit dazed as Herman and a couple of the guys from 51 helped him to his feet. 

"That true?" Herman asked the man. "You come into my bar assaulting my patrons?" The man didn't answer, still stunned by Erin's surprise right hook. Herman didn't wait for an answer and promptly helped the man out of the bar. When the commotion settled and everyone was back at their tables Herman appeared again, a cloth full of ice in his hand. "This is for you slugger," he said sarcastically, passing the ice to Erin. 

"Slugger is right, damn Erin where'd you learn to throw a punch like that?" Will asked, impressed. "Remind me never to get on your bad side," he chuckled then stopped abruptly when Erin glared at him. He may have been teasing her but he really didn't want to know what her right hook felt like. 

"You okay Nina?" Herman asked sympathetically while rolling his eyes at Will. 

"Yes I'm fine," Nina nodded. 

"I'm sorry about that. He won't be allowed back," Herman confirmed. 

"That's sweet of you," Nina replied in thanks. 

After finishing their drinks the group paid their tab and headed out, but not before Erin could stop by the bar to apologize for causing a scene and Will could again exclaim how he needed to remember never to mess with Erin. 

/

Erin and Jay we just settling into bed for the night when a soft knock came on the apartment door. Jay opened it, surprised to see his brother on the other side. 

"Hey man, everything okay?" Jay asked, spying the bag slug over Will's shoulder. 

"No," Will replied crisply as he walked down the hall into the apartment. "Slugger here got me kicked out," he continued, pointing at Erin. "So as payment you can house my homeless ass until I figure out where I'm gonna live," he grumbled. 

"Me?" She asked disbelievingly. 

"Yeah you! What the hell did you say to her in that bathroom?" Will shot back. 

"Ok hold on," Erin said putting up her hand, "first off she cornered me in the bathroom, upset because she didn't think you loved her, which by the way I don't appreciate, I mean you're the one who got yourself into this mess living with her, kissing Nat, flirting all the time," Erin ranted. 

"I don't flirt," Will interjected defending himself, but Erin continued on over top of him while Jay let out a choked laugh at Will's protest. 

"You're not up front with either of these girl, hell I'm not even sure you know what it is that you want and then you go and put me in the middle of it? I'm the one that gets cornered and has to listen to her? That's not cool at all. I could have said a lot of things to her Will but I didn't. I kept my mouth shut even though I should have told her to leave your ass for the way you've been playing both ends. But I didn't. I told her to talk to you. That's it. Now you come here telling me I owe you, oh no. It's you that owes me. And you are gonna pay Halstead," Erin threatened. 

Will looked at Erin all riled up and remembered the punch she had thrown earlier in the night, and then looked over at Jay for support. 

Jay put his hands up, "Oh hell no, you made your own bed on this one. No way in hell am I helping you out of this. I like my life way too much thanks," Jay said backing away. 

"House husband," Will muttered. 

Jay laughed, "Your house is about to be a cardboard box if you don't do what Erin wants," Jay reminded him. 

Erin still stood glaring at Will expectantly. "Fine," he muttered."I'm sorry," he said wondering how he'd gone from thinking he had one up on her to grovelling for the right to sleep on her couch. 

"You're damn right you're sorry, and you're gonna prove just how sorry next Saturday night," Erin announced. 

"What does that mean?" Will asked confused and a bit scared at what she had up her sleeve. 

"You'll see," she taunted. "Now since this isn't your first stint on my couch you can get your own linens from the closet, I'm going to bed. Night," she said, cheerily waving over her shoulder as she headed to the bedroom. Her quick change in tone and demeanour had Will confused. 

Will looked at Jay, "What the hell just happened? Is she being serious?" 

Jay just chuckled and slapped his brother on the shoulder. "Never fuck with a woman who carries a gun for a living brother. See you in the morning," Jay smiled as he too made his way into the bedroom leaving a confused Will to fend for himself.


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from anon: Will and Erin talk about Jay's past (and yes Erin gets her payback... sort of)

It had started out as dinner and somehow ballooned from there. Now he was apparently taking her to the theatre as well. When he asked why she'd want to do all this with him instead of her boyfriend she'd laughed. "Jay can't eat Indian and he'd rather write parking tickets for a week straight then go to a musical." 

What he couldn't understand was how his slightly possessive little brother was so cool with all this. It hadn't been all that long ago that Will could wink at Lindsay and get a rise out of Jay, something Will lived to do as often as he could being one of the few joys of having a little brother. But when Erin emerged from the room all dolled up Jay had hummed appreciatively and complimented her sincerely. 

"You're really okay with this? Me taking your girl out on a date?" Will asked Jay disbelievingly when Erin went back to the bedroom for something she'd forgotten. 

"Better you than me," Jay laughed, remembering how his stomach felt the last time he'd eaten Indian food. "Besides it's not a date, it's payback. And you deserve it," Jay reminded him. 

"I don't know, doesn't seem all that bad," Will shrugged. 

"That's because you haven't paid for it yet," Jay chuckled knowing Erin had picked the most expensive Indian restaurant in the city and front row seats to the show. 

"Come on Dr. Halstead, we have reservations to keep!" Erin called, coming out of the bedroom. She stopped in front of Jay. "You still working that concert tonight?"

"Yup, I'll text you later but I'll probably get home around the same time as you," he said leaning in to give her a lingering kiss, making Will roll his eyes and look away. "You look beautiful. Have fun," Jay added then pinned his brother with a look. "No funny stuff, be a gentleman or you'll be in that cardboard box," Jay threatened. 

Will smiled. There was the possessive little brother he knew and loved. But truth be told he had no plans on crossing any lines tonight. It was pretty obvious to anyone how solid Jay and Erin's relationship was. He was happy for his brother, if not a little envious at the moment. Besides as beautiful as she was, Will couldn't see himself with a girl that could kick his ass. 

/

"So?" Will asked as the waiter took their menus away and went to fill their order. 

"So?" Erin asked smiling back at him. 

"What's new," Will chuckled at the awkward start they were having. It occurred to him if it weren't for Jay they'd probably never have cause to have a conversation, let alone a friendship or dinner date. 

Erin laughed, "This shouldn't be this awkward."

"No, you're right it shouldn't. I'm just surprised this is what you chose as payback." 

"Like I said, I love Indian and Jay can't stomach it and he hates musicals and I've been dying to see this one. I could have gone with a girlfriend I guess but I was kinda banking on you hating it as much as Jay and having to suck it up," Erin admitted. "Besides a free night out is always a plus for me." 

Will nodded, "Well it definitely wouldn't be my choice of theatre show but I am looking forward to dinner," Will confessed. "Things seem really good with you and my brother," he observed, continuing the conversation. 

Erin smiled, the dreamy heart eyes Will noticed she always got when someone spoke about Jay around her were on full display. He wondered if she realize she did that. 

"They are, really good actually." She beamed. 

"He seems really happy, actually to be honest, I've never seen him like this. I was worried about him for a bit there but he seems like he's in a really good place now. I'm sure you have no small part in that." Will complimented her. 

"You've mentioned that before, that you were worried, and that you wished you'd been there," Erin wanted so badly to know more about what Jay had been through she hoped Will would take the bait and offer more details. 

"He was a mess when he came home Erin. I don't know the details of what happened over there but it fucked him up. And watching mom die didn't help. You've met our father now so you have a pretty good idea of what growing up with him was like and how unsupportive he was when mom got sick. Jay cut himself off from the world after all that. Pretty sure he was so drunk at times he didn't know his own name. I only got glimpses of it but I know he was trying really hard to forget everything he'd experienced. I should have come home, done something to help him but I was too busy trying to pretend it wasn't happening you know? I was hiding too in my own way. And I was pretty selfish and self centred back then like I told you before." 

Erin nodded. She could definitely relate to needing to numb the pain and hide from her demons but it upset her to think of Jay like that, alone and hurting. 

"I'm not sure he ever really got past it Erin," Will confided in her. "I think he just learned to bury it better." Will hoped that if and when things surfaced for Jay again he'd know he had better supports now and make different choices. 

"Yeah," she agreed. She saw how some cases effected him. She had also suspected Jay might still be carrying a heavy load but he wasn't willing or able to share it with anyone. She'd hoped by now he would start to trust her enough to open up a bit but she wouldn't push it. She told him if he needed her she was there, she had to trust that he would take her up on that. It was helpful to get a bit of history through and to know Will was also trying to be there for Jay. 

"Anyway," Will said lightening his tone. "Not exactly fun dinner conversations. When you gonna let my brother marry you?" He said, his eyes sparkling with mischief. 

"Wait, this is my payback dinner. Aren't I supposed to be the one grilling you?"

Will chuckled. "Just answer this one last question and then I promise you can interrogate me detective."

Erin smiled, taking a minute to think about her answer. "I see myself spending the rest of my life with your brother, yes."

"As his wife?"

Erin sighed.

"Why the big aversion to marriage?"

"My mom I guess. She's been married so many times. Claimed it was love and was really just using or being used. She made a mockery of the whole thing. For the longest time I didn't even think love was real. It's embarrassing to think about her." Erin confessed. 

Will thought about what she said. "So when you think about marrying my brother it makes you feel like your mother?"

"I thought you said one last question? You're supposed to be in emergency medicine not psychiatry, doc." Erin was being evasive again. 

"This is part of the same question," Will pressed gently. 

Erin tilted her head in thought, "No guess I don't. It's not like that with Jay, at all."

Will raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to realize she really had no argument for not marrying his brother anymore. 

She blushed and ducked her head, not wanting to admit out loud she understood his point, before recovering. "Okay hotshot I answered your question. It's your turn now."

"You look entirely too please with this. Should I be worried? Call a lawyer maybe?" Will bantered. 

"Do you need one?" She teased. 

"I hope not," Will laughed. 

"Are you in love with Natalie?" Erin asked point blank. 

"Wow you go right for the jugular, don't even warm a guy up first," Will laughed nervously. 

The waiter arrived with their food and they ate in silence for a few minutes, appreciating the delicious food. 

"I'm waiting on your answer still," Erin said reaching for another piece of naan. 

"Was hoping you'd forget," Will muttered. But when Erin stared at him expectantly he knew he had to fess up. "I don't know. Maybe. I definitely care about her."

"But you cared about Nina too."

"Of course, I wasn't using her Erin. Is that what you and Jay think?" Will asked, hurt filling his voice that they gave him so little credit. Sure he'd been a bit of a player in the past but he wasn't a heartless ass and it hadn't been like that with Nina. 

"You did move in with her pretty quick. Maybe Nat being with Jeff helped you make your decision?" Erin asked more gently. It wasn't her intent to hurt Will's feelings, just get him to admit what was going on with him and these women. 

"Wow," Will exclaimed, sitting back. "Who's playing shrink now."

Erin shrugged and took another bite of her food. 

"Maybe," Will admitted after a moment. "Didn't really let myself think about that too much. Not really something we Halstead's do a lot of."

"Think?" Erin asked with a smile. 

"No smart ass," he laughed with her. "Analyze our feelings."

"Ah, well if I'm being fair it's not really something that happened in my family either. But you still haven't answered me, not really."

"About Nat?"

Erin nodded. "What are you going to do there?"

"I don't know. She shot me down the last time I put my feelings out there."

"Will, she'd just given birth to her dead husband's child," Erin said, having empathy for how confusing that time must have been for Nat. 

"Yeah and then she started dating Jeff," Will said, a hint of jealousy in his voice. 

"I don't think that was so much about her not caring for you as it was about her own issues," Erin pointed out. 

"Maybe."

"Do you think it would work? You and Nat? You're forever telling us about how much you two fight," Erin continued to probe. 

"You and Jay fight and you're basically half way down the isle," he pointed out, not being able to resist getting another dig about marriage in there. 

"We do not fight," Erin protested. 

"Right," Will laughed. 

"We don't. We discuss and sometime bicker. But we don't fight." She reasoned. 

"And the difference is?"

"We don't hurt each other's feelings, undermine each other decisions at work or say things we need to apologize later for," Will raised an eyebrow at her and she was forced to qualify her statement, "well not often, certainly not as often as you and Nat."

Will thought about her words. He and Nat did have a tendency to get pretty bullheaded with each other but things had been better lately. "We're getting better, I'm trying to be more supportive and open minded." 

"Less like a five year old pulling on the pig tales of the girl he likes?" Erin goaded. 

"Yeah," Will agreed, blushing. 

"And what about her son? It's not the same dating someone with a kid you know. Are you ready to take that on? Have you thought about Owen at all in all of this?"

"You don't think I could handle it?" Will again felt hurt by her line of questioning. 

"No offence but you can't even seem to keep a roof over your head right now," she said, smiling to soften the blow of her words. 

"Gee thanks Erin, you weren't kidding about the pay back," he pouted. 

"I'm sorry, I know you're struggling to get out from under the med school debt and insurance and you know you're welcome to stay with Jay and I as long as you want but you don't have a great track record with thinking things through, especially where women are concerned, and if Nat is as important to you as you say she is, I don't know, maybe you want to take a minute to really think about it?"

Will picked at his food while he let Erin's words roll around in his head. "Yeah, guess I should have used some of the money they threw at me in New York on something a little more responsible then partying my troubles way," Will admitted. 

"You can't change the past Will," Erin said empathetically. 

"Don't I know it," he agreed regretfully. But he didn't want to put a downer on their whole evening. "You know for someone who claims she's not good at this relationship stuff you give some pretty kick ass advice." 

"Thanks," she smiled proudly. 

Will chuckled. "It's going to be fun." 

"What is?" Erin asked, confused. 

"Having you for a little sister," he said and gave her his most charming smile accompanied by a wink. 

Erin laughed, her cheeks flushing. She wasn't ready to admit how much she liked that idea so instead she turned her attention back to the amazing dinner in front of her. 

/

The play hadn't been completely terrible. But there was no way in hell he'd admit that in front of his brother, Jay had enough ammunition on him these days. But he did get a kick out of seeing Erin, who acted so tough and hid her emotions so well, geek out over the production. She had certainly enjoyed herself. On the way home she talked Will into stopping for some dessert since they'd been too full after dinner. He'd looked at her funny when she'd ordered one for now and one to go. 

"For Jay," she explained. 

"I'm not buying him dessert!" Will protested. 

"Yes you are," Erin stated matter of factly. Will had opened his mouth to protest more but Erin had raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to contradict her. The memory of her dropping a man twice her size to the floor with a single punch was still too fresh in his head. That and Jay's words about not messing with a woman who carried a gun. He wouldn't be surprised if she had one hidden in the little purse she carried and was ready to threaten him with it. The more time he spent with her the more he could see why Jay was so gone over her. She was perfect for Jay, keeping his ego in check, sharing his sense of humour, able to keep up with him on the job and strong enough to take on all his demons. His mind drifted to Nat, something he refused to admit it did often. He wondered not for the first time how they would fit together. 

"Come on lover boy, its way past my bedtime. Let's head home before Jay sends out a search party," Erin interrupted his daydream. 

/

They came in to find Jay on the couch watching a late game. "Hi dad, we're home. Ah, did you wait up," Will greeted Jay over sweetly. 

Erin giggled as she headed towards Jay. Jay rolled his eyes at Will's antics but reached up to pull Erin down beside him on the couch. "Did you have fun? He treat you right?" He asked her with a wink as she leaned over to kiss him. 

"I did. Will bought you this," she said presenting him with the bag. 

"For me?" He laughed, over emphasizing his surprise. "You shouldn't have!"

"Trust me I tried not too," Will grumbled. "But you apparently can't say no to this one without worrying about her killing you in your sleep."

"Aww," Jay teased, "is little Willy scared? Should we put the plastic sheet on the couch in case you wet yourself?" Jay teased. 

"Shut up, house husband," Will said, throwing a pillow at Jay. 

"At least I have a house, red," Jay countered, lobbing the pillow back. 

"Touché," Will chuckled half heartedly. 

Erin laughed at their antics. Maybe having Will crash with them for a bit would turn out to be fun.


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon prompt: Erin and Will helping Jay with PTSD

It started out normal enough. Jay knew immediately who the 'unknown number' FaceTime was from. He settled on the couch in the empty apartment and answered it. 

"Hey man," he greeted Mouse. 

"Hey back, how are you man?" Mouse asked cheerfully. 

Jay looked him over. It was the first time he'd seen his face since he left, all their recent sporadic contact being either phone calls or email. He looked healthy enough, dressed in a plain t-shirt, sitting in a nondescript military base room. The fire was definitely back in his eyes. But it was the cut above his left eyebrow that had Jay skipping a beat before he answered Mouse. 

They talked for a bit, Jay catching Mouse up on all that he'd missed since he reenlisted. Mouse was understandably vague about what he'd been doing and where in the world he was but based on recent news reports Jay didn't have to guess hard. 

Erin had popped in at the end and said the words Jay couldn't get past his throat but wished like hell he could. 

"Mouse!" She'd exclaimed coming up behind the couch and leaning in over Jay's shoulder, kissing him hello on the cheek. 

"Hey Lindsay, you taking care of our boy?" Mouse had laughed. 

"Always," she said giving Jay a knowing look. "We miss you so much, we love you, be safe," she'd said with genuine love in her voice and then left them privacy to finish their conversation. 

We miss you, we love you, be safe. Jay kept repeating it in his head, hoping Mouse had gained some sort of telepathic abilities in the months since he'd been gone because for some damn reason he couldn't say the words out loud. All the while Jay's eyes kept darting back to the cut on Mouse's face. It wasn't much, barely a scratch, but it took Jay's mind somewhere it didn't want to be. It made Mouse deploying real, reminded Jay of what Mouse was actually doing over there, what they had done together over there before. The possibility of Mouse getting hurt, of not being safe, again, stared Jay in the face. The torn blood stained skin on Mouse's forehead taunted Jay and reminded him how he had no control, no say, no way to defend against what Mouse was facing over there.

He couldn't sleep that night, or the next and again after that and Jay's usual remedy, staring at the tv, was unavailable since Will was working days and still crashing on his couch. 

It had been the mind numbing drone of late night tv that had kept him sober once he finally smartened up and decided to give living a try. The months of drinking till he was blackout drunk were loosing their ability to shut his brain down and Jay was considering new ways to block things out. So when Mouse turned up and smacked some sense into him, Jay turned to tv since falling asleep sober was impossible. Staring at the tv prevented his thoughts from taking over and drowning him those first few nights and that had quickly become a habit. If he was being honest, falling asleep in front of the tv hadn't made him better, he'd just swapped out alcohol for documentaries, soon relying on the warm glow of the tv to hold off the assault of memories and feelings. 

So without the balm of late night channel surfing Jay took to sneaking out early for runs and late evening trips to the gym to pound the memories down, beat his mind into submission and exhaust his body in an effort to sleep. He needed to keep a lid on everything seeing Mouse's damaged face had woken in him. It was threatening to bubble up and boil over and Jay had too much at stake now to go back down that hole. He WOULD control this. 

But if loosing control was Jay's biggest fear, guilt was fast on its heals and Jay had guilt in spades, more shades of it then he knew what to do with. 

He didn't miss the concerned looks Will and Erin shared when he'd finally turn up at night sweaty and mumbling quiet hellos as he made excuses about needing a shower to keep their conversations brief. No doubt they'd been whispering behind his back trying to figure out what the hell was going on with him. The guilt kicked in when he lied to Erin, telling her he was fine and it was nothing for her to worry about. Her eyes would fill with hurt but she respected him too much to push. The guilt piled on when he brushed his brother off knowing Will meant it when he said he and Erin were there for him. 

Jay knew Erin thought she could handle it, help him carry it, she'd told him as much more than once but he couldn't burden her with that when she'd already been through so much. He promised himself he'd protect her and care for her and be the thing that everyone else couldn't be for her; he'd be the one who didn't let her down. Besides he was a man, a Chicago cop, a damn Army Ranger, he should be able to do this on his own. 

But if she knew what he'd done would she still want him? If she knew when he came home from Afghanistan he'd woken up more than once next to some pretty girl who's name he didn't recall because in his blackout drunkenness the night before he couldn't bare to be alone and took her to bed, would Erin's eyes still shine up at him full of love? And what would Erin say when he told her the relief that would wash over him the next morning when he spied the used condom, confirming he'd had at least enough common sense to protect himself and the poor girl? Would she still respect him when he told her that once sober he couldn't bare to be near anyone, speak to anyone or be touched so he'd sneak his hungover ass out of the room while the girl slept and puke in the alley before moving on to the next place he could escape his thoughts? 

Besides, even if she could look past all his transgressions it would mean he'd have to tell her why he'd behaved in such a shameful way the first place, put memories into words and that was impossible. The words wouldn't come. He'd open his mouth and feel like he was in a choke hold. His throat constricted, his heart rate accelerated, images flashing so fast his eyes would blur and he'd loose his balance. 

He'd have to tell her about the rest of the guilt he carried. How he'd let men die. How he'd destroyed families. How he couldn't face the grief of those he'd let down: the wives, the children of the soldiers he didn't keep safe, the ones he'd sent home in body bags. 

And he'd have to tell her he was a killer. That's what they had trained him to do. He'd have to tell her how he'd lay still on the roof tops in the silence of the night and used his sniper rifle to pick off one target after another as ordered. Except they weren't targets. They were men. Living breathing humans. Hell some were barely even old enough to shave. He wouldn't even let himself think about the other things he'd witnessed or done. But that's what he was sent there to do. Kill or be killed. It was all so black and white. Orders were given and they carried them out. They were there to defend freedom. Not his, the worlds. To protect the hundreds of millions of people who had the right to live where they wanted, how they wanted, without fear. 

Except it wasn't so black and white, not when he came home. When he was faced with the noise and the chaos of everyday life nothing fit together anymore. The sharp lines of right and wrong he'd drawn in the dessert sand blurred and he started to question things that were better left unquestioned. So he buried them. First in a pool of alcohol, then with the drone of the tv. He buried the guilt and joined the CPD, telling himself that he'd be on the right side of things again. Telling himself he'd have clear lines of right and wrong again and could stand proud knowing he was serving justice in the city that had raised three generations of Halsteads. 

"Jay," Erin called again, still she got no response. 

He'd been washing dishes in the kitchen sink but he hadn't moved for several minutes, staring at his hands while the water poured over them, lost in deep thought. She became concerned, not for the first time in the last week. Jay had been off, distant, quiet and he'd found too many excuses to leave early and come home late. He tossed and turned at night and Erin wondered if he was getting any sleep at all. 

After talking with Will, who agreed with her observations, they'd realized it had started shortly after his FaceTime call with Mouse. They'd tried more than once to get Jay to open up but each time he'd retreated more into himself. Erin was worried if they pushed too hard he'd bolt all together. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a little hurt he wouldn't open up to her after all they'd been through but she trusted he would do what he needed to get through this. 

But right now the promise she made herself to be patient went out the window because she's called him three times and he was still so lost in whatever was going on in his head and he couldn't hear her. She didn't want to startle him so she came up slowly beside him, talking. 

"Jay, you just about done there?" She asked, putting her hand on his shoulder. 

His head popped up and he looked at her surprised, as if he'd never see her before. "What?" He asked his voice cracking. He cleared his throat and Erin watched as he got his bearings. "Yeah, yeah I'm good. All done here," he said trying to be casual and moving to turn the water off and wipe up the counter. 

"You sure babe? You were pretty lost in thought. I had to call you a few times," Erin probed gently. 

"You did? Sorry. It's nothing. I'm good. You about ready to go?" He asked, referring to their plan to meet Will at the indoor rock climbing centre. 

Erin frowned. She didn't like being lied too. She was sure he was wrestling some demons and she wished he'd reach out to her. "Yeah," she said flatly. "I'm ready."

The lies were starting to come too easy but the stab he felt when he watched Erin's expression turn from concern to disappointment was sharp. Somewhere in his head a warning bell went off telling him if he didn't figure out how to deal with this soon the very thing he was trying to protect her from was going to end up hurting her in a way he couldn't fix. 

He followed her out the door in silence. He really wasn't in the mood to be around other people but he knew he'd been avoiding spending time with her and his brother lately and he figured maybe the competitive banter and laughter that usually flowed freely when they climbed would help distract him for a little while. 

But they didn't head straight for the climbing facility like usual. Instead Erin swung into the cafe where Will was already waiting at a table off in the corner, three drinks on the table. Jay knew immediately what they had planned. He sat stiff and barely mumbled a hello when his brother greeted him. 

"Jay," Erin pleaded, knowing he'd caught on to their little intervention plan. "Please don't get your back up. We love you, we can see you're struggling and we're worried, scared even." She confessed softly. 

The anger and resentment he felt being tricked into this meeting was tamped down a little by her words. Scared? What would she be scared of?

"Scared?" He asked, his defences still up. 

She nodded. "I know what it feels like to be pulled under. I know it's not anywhere near the same as what you've been through, but I know what a slippery slop it is and how quickly it can happen. I can't let that happen to you," she said her eyes not letting him look away. 

He heard her, hell it hadn't been that long ago he was giving her the speeches about letting him help her keep from going under. But like before he couldn't get any words out. 

"Jay," Will said causing Jay to look away from Erin finally. "What do you need? How do we help you figure out whatever's going on with you?"

"You don't," his voice sounded harsh even to him but he didn't like the idea of them trying to break him down, especially not here in such a public place. His frustration with trying to stay in control, his exhaustion, it all came to a head now. 

"Jay," Will tried again. 

"No," Jay stopped him, trying to keep his voice controlled. He didn't dare look at Erin's face for fear of what he'd see there. "I get it okay. I hear you. You want to help. But you can't. I just need time. Space. This," he said waving his hands between them, "isn't help. Just let me handle this. Please," he begged, his voice cracking at the end with emotion. He got up then, afraid of loosing the battle with his emotions and walked towards the door. He heard her call after him but even though he knew he should stop and turn around, at least try to explain to her why he couldn't talk, his feet didn't listen. Once on the street he let his feet continue to make the decisions moving him further and further away from her. 

Will reached across the table and put his hand over Erin's. He could see her struggling to contain her feelings. He didn't know if he wanted to hit his brother for being so damn stubborn or run after him and force him into the mother of all bear hugs until he finally let down his guard. 

Erin looked up at Will, giving him a poor attempt at a smile. She wasn't prepared for how much letting Jay walk away from them would sting. But what else could she do? She knew him well enough to know it had to be his decision to come to her. It had been a bad idea this little talk she and Will planned and she regretted it now but she wasn't lying when she'd told Jay she was scared. So she'd let Will talk her into this, with a promise that they'd both back off if it didn't work. Well, it hadn't. She just hoped it wasn't one push too far. 

Will and Erin had headed home. Will tried to entice Erin with dinner but she'd refused, instead changing into pjs and plopping on the couch to watch tv. He'd joined her after a bit and they sat in silence, neither knowing what to say or do, both feeling defeated, watching tv. One show blended into another until hours had slipped by. Will caught Erin checking her phone periodically, he didn't blame her. Jay had been in a bad place when he left and not hearing from him, not knowing where he was or what he was doing was making Will anxious too. It was close to two in the morning when they finally heard his key in the door. An anxious look passed between them as they braced themselves for Jay's arrival. 

Jay was a bit surprised to see them both up watching tv when he slumped down the hall. He was exhausted physically and emotionally. Drained in a way he hadn't felt in a long time. His feet had decided to take him on a walk that lasted hours, finally landing him back where he should be. Home. But he wasn't sure the cozy condo he shared with Erin was his home anymore after the way he'd pushed her away then walked out on her earlier. He just hoped what he'd done with his time between then and now would be enough to ease her worry and show her he was going to try. 

He looked sober. Exhausted, but sober. It was the first thought both Will and Erin had when Jay came into sight. Relief flooded them both and Will got up to get a drink of water making room for Jay to sit beside Erin on the couch, while Erin leaned forward to grab the remote and mute the tv. 

But Jay didn't come to sit. He stood awkwardly at the edge of the living room. His eyes searching hers. She saw pain there, regret, but the thing that had her patting the couch beside her, inviting him to sit, was the love she still saw there. 

"Hey," she said softly as he moved around the coffee table and sat beside her. She turned her body sideways to face him. 

"Hey," he answered just as quietly. 

"You were gone a long time," she observed cautiously. 

He nodded. "I'm sorry, I probably worried you. I just..." his voice trailed off. Words eluding him as emotion came to the surface. 

"Needed space?" Erin finished for him. 

"Needed to figure out what I need," Jay corrected her. 

Will was unable to leave them the privacy he figured any decent guy would, his concern for his brother overpowering any sense of good manners. So he quietly sat at the breakfast bar, far enough away as to not make his brother feel like he was facing another inquisition. 

"Get any ideas?" Erin hedged. 

"Some," Jay said fighting to get the thousands of words flying around his head to come out his mouth. 

"That's good," Erin continued their dance, waiting for him to say more. 

"I contacted veterans services and found out there's a group that meets every Tuesday. I'm gonna start going," he offered, voice full of emotion. 

"That's good," she repeated, kicking herself mentally for not knowing how to express her relief that he was actually taking steps to reach out and get help. 

Jay took a deep breath, "I can't... it's...." he sighed in frustration. "Its not something I can put into words right now. But maybe if the meetings help," he looked up at her. He hoped she understood that he was trying like hell to let her in. That his little broken speech was his attempt at baring his soul to her. It was a feeble attempt he knew but it was all he had right now. 

"Elephant," she said her lips curling up slightly. 

"What?" Both Jay and Will looked at her likes she'd grown two heads. 

"Remember when I came back and Hank made me see Dr. Charles? He called my demons an elephant. Said the only way to get it out of the room was to break it up into little pieces." She explained. He nodded but she could see he didn't quite catch her meaning. She reached out and took his hand in hers, "No ones expecting you to spill your guts tonight Jay. But sitting here like this with us, that's one piece. The veterans group that's another." He hadn't giver her much but Erin could appreciate it for what it was, a first step, a really hard one for him to take at that. He may not be ready to trust her to help him yet but he'd taken a step towards her and Will instead of away. Erin knew how huge that was. 

"I feel like I have a whole herd of them," Jay laughed self deprecatingly. 

"Then let us help you cut them up," Will interjected. Erin and Jay turned to look at him, looks of horror on their faces. "What?" Will exclaimed. "I'm pretty good with a knife you know, did two years as a plastic surgery resident." 

Erin wrinkled her nose then looked at Jay. They both laughed. Leave it to Will to turn a metaphor into something that belonged in a slasher movie. But the lightening of the mood was just what they needed. 

"Did she eat?" Jay asked Will, giving Erin a once over. 

"Didn't even steal one of my fries," Will said disapprovingly. 

Jay frowned at Erin. He'd done that, been the reason she'd lost her appetite. 

"Rat," she accused, glaring at Will. He made a face at her. 

"You should eat something," Jay encouraged, running his thumb over her knuckles. 

Erin shook her head, "Its late, I'd rather sleep. Will can buy me a big breakfast on the way to work." She bargained. 

"Gee lucky me," Will laughed. 

"Come to bed?" She asked Jay, standing up and reaching a hand out to him. He nodded and let her help him up but he pulled her into a hug before she could walk away. 

"Aww are we having a group hug!" Will exclaimed jovially and came over to wrap his arms around them, making Erin giggle and Jay squirm uncomfortably. And just to get a rise out of Jay he planted a big wet kiss on both their cheeks. 

"Don't ever do that again," Jay warned as he wiped his cheek, but he couldn't suppress the laugh at his brother's antics. 

Will ruffled Jay's hair, enjoying Jay's discomfort with all the brotherly affection. "Not making any promises, now get lost so I can sleep on your couch in peace." 

Jay nodded but held his brother's eye for a moment making sure Will knew he appreciated having him around this time. 

Jay slept that night for a few hours, his body completely exhausted. And when he woke in the early morning hours, debating if he should go for a run to keep his mind from drifting back to dark places, Erin rolled over and lay her head on his shoulder, hooking her leg around his. 

"Tell me again why it's such a good idea to retire in Wisconsin," she'd whispered in her semi conscious state. 

He smiled then, even knowing her goal was to occupy his mind, the way he always did whenever Erin let on that she thought about a shared future together. And while she sleepily ran her fingers in random patterns on his chest he whispered all the reasons the cabin was perfect for them, images of lazy summer days together in the northern paradise playing on the screen in his mind.


	8. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon prompt: can you please write more with Erin and Papa Halstead. 
> 
>  
> 
> Even though we've since learned Patrick Halstead is not a doctor, as we once were told, I decided to stick with the character I created in part 4 for this prompt as well, for continuity sake. Hope you enjoy!

She'd been dreaming about this since Will had 'moved in' with them a month ago. A night alone, the apartment all to herself. No sports, no jokes about bodily functions, no sharing her favourite snacks, just peace and quiet. She finally got it tonight with Jay doing his second night of undercover work and Will having left this afternoon for a two day conference. The first hours had been pure heaven. A long hot shower, dancing around to her favourite music playing a little too loud, and watching a cheesy movie without being made fun of, buffet of snacks all to herself. 

Then the most pathetic thing happened. She felt bored. And lonely. It was disgusting really. She'd been happy coming home to the peace and disorganized order of her own little condo for years before these Halstead men had invaded her space both with their own quirks. Jay with his need to line boots up with military persecution, tucking the corners of the bedsheets in so tight she struggled to roll over between her pillows at night; and Will imparting his wisdom about healthy living and oversharing of grotesque details of patients he'd worked on. 

God knows she'd grown attached to the overgrown man child who helped her gang up on Jay and told her all the best stories from their childhood but she was getting close to having a chat with Will about leaving the nest. She missed making out with Jay on the couch and walking around the apartment in nothing but his tshirt. Besides Will and Nat had finally started dating and Erin wasn't in any way mentally prepared to come home one night and find them making out on her couch, the couch she and Jay use to make out on. 

Okay so she was a little preoccupied with thoughts of sex on her couch, but her sex life had decreased significantly since Will moved in. She hoped Jay wrapped his undercover tonight so they could take advantage of Will being away. She knew just the outfit she'd wear too to remind Jay how much better his life would be if he gave his brother the boot. 

Her phone buzzed with a call and the name that lit it up was the equivalent of a cold shower. Why was he calling her? 

"Hello?" She answered cautiously. 

"Hey slugger," Will greeted her a little too charmingly. She had a bad feeling he was trying to butter her up. 

"What do you want," she replied dryly. 

"What? I can't just call my favourite roomie to say hi?" He teased. 

"You know if you want something from me saying things that make it sound like you have no plans of ever getting off my couch probably isn't the best way to butter me up," she stated sarcastically. 

"You're right," he agreed the humour leaving his voice. "I do need something, and I promise I'll make it up to you, whatever you want," he rushed to sweeten the deal. 

"What?" She asked bitterly. She knew Will was about to put an end to her peaceful night at home.

"It's dad," Will began. "He's not picking up."

"He's probably avoiding your calls, something I should have done." She observed bitterly. 

Will ignored her come back, "Erin please, I just have a bad feeling. He hasn't sounded great the last few days and when I went by to check on him this morning he seemed really tired. I'd just feel better if I knew he was okay."

"You want me to go check on him," she muttered flatly. 

"I'd ask Jay but obviously he can't," Will reasoned, knowing Jay couldn't be reached while on this undercover. "Please Erin, I'll make it up to you, honestly anything."

"You're really that concerned?" Erin asked sitting up. Will knew how elaborate and expensive her pay backs could be, especially when given carte blanche to choose what she wanted. 

"I am," he said seriously. 

Erin closed her eyes and let out a long slow breath. Her interactions with the sour older man had been limited since the day she'd met him but she knew from his sons that he hadn't mellowed any since his surgery, in fact he'd found lots to complain about during his recovery, something both boys vented repeatedly to her about. "Fine," she agreed. "But you definitely owe me," she stated firmly. 

"Thank you!" Will exclaimed with relief. "Call me as soon as you see him," Will instructed. 

"Yes, Doctor," Erin agreed, rolling her eyes and getting up to get ready to go. 

"Thank you, I really appreciate it," Will said again genuinely. "And just for the record, you really are my favourite roomie." 

Erin could hear the goading smile in his voice. 

"Careful Red, you may come home to find we got rid of the couch," she threatened. 

"I have some chiropractor friend who swear sleeping on a hard floor is better for your back anyway," he said nonchalantly, knowing he was riling her up. 

Erin bit the inside of her cheek, she was gonna kick the big jerk in the shin when he got home. 

"Careful slugger, you'll draw blood if you bite down too hard," he teased. 

"Careful Red you'll be homeless and have a broken nose when you get home if you keep that up," she mimicked his teasing tone, but Will knew he was getting dangerously close to pushing her too far and sobered at the memory of watching Erin punch someone. 

"Alright I surrender," he laughed a bit nervously, "but seriously thank you for doing this." 

"Mmmhhh," she hummed. "I'll call you in a bit." 

Pat Halstead didn't answer the door when she knocked so she fished the spare keys, the ones Will left on her hall table in case of emergency, out of her pocket and let herself in. She called out repeatedly as she entered so as not to startle him. After searching the main floor with no results she headed upstairs. She'd done her fair share of wellness checks over her years as a cop but her breath still caught at the sight of Jay's father on the bathroom floor. 

He was sitting propped up against the bathroom wall, wrapped only in a towel, like he'd been in the shower. He was breathing in short panting breaths and pale, his eyes were closed. 

"Dr. Halstead," Erin called softly. 

He opened his eyes and looked up at her. She braced herself for harsh words but he said nothing. She moved more fully into the room. 

"Dr. Halstead," she said again crouching down to his level. "Will called me and asked me to come check on you. Jay's undercover or he would have come," she explained not wanting to give the older man a reason to take a shot at Jay. "You're not looking to good, I think I should call us some help." Erin began taking her phone out of her pocket to call an ambulance when Pat's hand covered hers. 

"No," he breathed out. 

Erin opened her mouth to protest. 

"No," he said more firmly. "I just need some help getting up. Think a tiny little thing like you could manage that?"

Erin hesitated for a moment, not because she couldn't manage but because she wasn't sure she should move him. 

"I'm fine, just had a dizzy spell and needed to sit," he waved off his current state, trying to sound more steady. 

But she knew he was lying. The Pat Halstead she'd met should be screaming at her to get the hell out and embarrassed as hell to have anyone, let alone her, find him on his bathroom floor like this. 

"For god sakes woman, help me up," he barked with a little more force. 

Reluctantly Erin moved to help him stand. They shuffled out of the bathroom and she helped him sit on the edge of his bed. 

"Now be a dear and pass me those clothes," he asked dryly, still trying to catch his breath. Erin did as he asked and stood over him waiting to assist if needed. 

"I'm not that far gone young lady, and I'm not one for putting on a show, so scoot while a dress," he waved a hand at her dismissively. Erin turned to give him privacy but refused to leave the room. "Stubborn one you are," he muttered. 

Erin continued to bite her tongue as she listened to him struggle to dress. When he was done she turned back around and assessed him again. His face was flushed and he'd broken out in a sweat with the effort of dressing himself. 

"Dr. Halstead," she began carefully. "You need medical attention," she said again, starting to call for help. 

"You're not calling a damn ambulance," he barked loudly, startling Erin. His outbursts was followed by a fit of coughing. She'd had enough and cursed how quickly she always she seemed to loose patience with Jay's father. 

"Well I'm not gonna stand here and watch you die. So either I call an ambulance or you let me drive you, but we're going to the damn hospital," she barked back at him, hand on hip. 

Pat looked up at her, surprise and something else on his weary face. "Fine," he relented. "But you better not drive like the rest of your kind," he quipped bitterly. 

She knew she didn't want to know but couldn't help but ask as she helped him slide on shoes. "My kind?" 

"Women," he answered. "Crazy, useless drivers, the whole lot of you."

For the second time in an hour she bit down hard on the inside of her cheek. Why did these Halstead's push her buttons so damn fast? But she couldn't stop the rough force she used to pull Pat to his feet and tug him towards the hall. 

"You treat everyone like they're a criminal?" He complained. 

"You treat everyone who's trying to be kind to you like the dirt under your shoes?" She bit back. 

Pat didn't speak again until she was behind the wheel of her care. 

"Best way to go.." he began. 

"I know how to get to the hospital," she interrupted between gritted teeth. "And if you say another word between here and there I'll push your ornery ass out of my car and leave you in the ditch," she threatened glaring at him. 

For a moment she though she saw amusement spark in his eyes but it was quickly replaced by a serious expression and somber nod. 

Within a few minutes of arriving at Med they had Pat settled in an exam room, a variety of monitors and tubes attached to him, waiting on test results. He'd grumbled about the oxygen tube up his nose and the poor way the nurse had inserted his iv lines and a dozen other things before Erin, who had been standing just outside the exam room door filling Will in on what was going on, couldn't take it anymore. 

"Seriously?" She quipped pulling the phone from her ear and coming in the room. "It really brings you that much joy to make everyone miserable? You're damn lucky I'm not your nurse because I'd shove the tube right up your.."

"Erin," Dr. Rhodes interrupted coming in the room. "Is that Will you have in the phone?" He asked. 

"Yeah," she said still glaring at Pat. 

"I've got some results, mind if I speak with him?" 

"Of course," Erin put the phone back to her ear in time to hear Will calm his laughter. 

"Hi," she said into the phone. 

"Just promise me you'll wait till I get back to slug him, I want to see the look on his face." Will begged, amused that Erin still had no problem calling his father out for his poor behaviour. 

Erin ignored his comment. "Connor's here he had an update for you," she said flatly. 

Her news sobered Will up, "okay put him on." 

Erin passed Connor the phone and walked to Pat's side. 

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "But can you please just let them do their jobs? You of all people should understand why they are doing all this." She tried to reason. 

Pat didn't answer but held her gaze for a moment until Connor came back in to update Pat on his condition. They threw around words like bypass and surgery and argued over Pat's options but Erin knew things were pretty serious. Connor passed Pat Erin's phone and she listened as Will and Pat argued for a few minutes before Pat reluctantly agreed to have surgery. Connor left saying they'd have an OR ready within the hour. Erin sent Jay a few texts explaining what was going on but knew he wouldn't get the messages until he had access to his phone, whenever he was able to wrap up his undercover. 

Erin took the seat next to Pat's gurney and they sat in silence for a long time. 

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, his voice cracking from disuse. Erin looked up at him and wondered if he'd ever said those words before. 

"I don't understand why you hate hospitals so much, you're a doctor," she said, not quite able to accept his apology but not wanting to leave it hanging in the air either. 

"Do you know how many people die in hospitals each year? It's the most depressing place on earth," he grumbled. 

Erin nodded, humouring him, but not buying his excuse. 

He sighed knowing she was waiting for more. He didn't explain himself to anyone, so why he suddenly heard the words coming out of his mouth he didn't know. Something about the tiny spitfire bewitched him. "My wife," he whispered gruffly. 

"Pardon?"

"The boys, they probably sold you some story about how I didn't love her, didn't take care of her properly but they're wrong. I'm not an easy man but she had her eyes open right from day one," he said. He didn't know why it mattered to him that she understand he wasn't a heartless bastard everyone seemed to think he was. They'd had their issues and plenty of them. But the woman who bore his bad temper and children deserved better than she ended up with. "Have you ever watched someone die of cancer Erin?" 

She nodded and it was his turn to look at her expectantly. "My adoptive mother," she said, sadness lacing her voice. She gave Camille the simplified title because now wasn't the time to explain her complex family history and the woman had been more a mother to her than anyone ever was, accepting Erin, as messed up as she was, as her daughter. 

"I'm sorry for that," he said placing his hand over hers. His compassion shocked her. "It's brutal isn't it. Every day they loose a little piece of themself in the most degrading way until they waste away to nothing. It's a slow and painful death and the most inhumane thing to allow to happen. But that's what happened to my wife. She lay in a hospital bed dying a little more each day. Loosing her dignity a piece at a time. I'm not gonna get all sappy here. I know I was far from a good husband but that doesn't mean I wanted to watch the woman suffer and leave me here with what? Two boys who hate me? Resent me for pushing them to be men? This world is a cold place Erin, I'm sure you've seen that doing what you do. I had to prepare them." 

Erin smiled ironically, thinking if he knew just how cold she knew life could be he'd probably toss her out like the poor white trash she'd grown up. But she didn't accept his reasons for being so hard on his sons. 

"Every time I set foot in this damn place I think of her like that. Cancer eating her from the inside out. Maybe you weren't far off when you accused me of wanting to die at home in my chair in front of the tv," he admitted. "But I don't want to end up like she did, no one deserves to end their life like that." 

"Dr. Halstead," Erin began. 

"Pat," he corrected her. "I think we're past the formal stage now dear, after our little adventure today," he smiled almost warmly at her. 

She nodded, "Pat, to be honest I'm not a big fan of hospitals either and I can definitely empathize with what you went through with your wife. It was a lot like that with Camille." 

Pat squeezed her hand again, "Well I'm sorry for that dear. And I'm sorry I was so hard on you," he apologized again. 

Jay stood in the open doorway of the exam room stunned at the sight before him. He'd been lucky enough to wrap up the case earlier than expected and was just finished debriefing with Voight when he got Erin's texts about his father. He'd rushed over to the hospital anxious to relieve Erin of the hell she must be going through being alone with his dad, only to find the old man holding her hand, smiling sympathetically at her and apologizing. Apologizing! Something in sixty plus years Jay was sure the man had never done. Jay needed to find Rhodes and tell him things were worse then they thought, his father must have suffered some kind of brain damage. 

"What the hell are you gawking at?" Pat snapped at Jay, breaking his stunned trance. Or maybe his dad was just fine, Jay thought to himself. 

Erin's head shot around to the door way. "Jay," she smiled at him and came to hug him. "You're done early."

"Yeah, got lucky. What's the story here?"

"You're dad can explain it better than I can," she said motioning for Jay to come in, "but they're just getting an OR ready for some kind of bypass surgery," she said looking to Pat to fill Jay in better. 

But all Pat did was nod at his youngest son. The fire lit in the girl's eyes again and she glared at him. Pat was sure some poor fool had been struck dead by that look at some point in the girl's life. He was sure she was about to unleash another tongue lashing on him but he wasn't about to let her win yet another round. He'd already spilled his guts like a useless sap and apologized to her, twice! That was twice more than anyone else in his life. 

"I see you finally did something right in your life," he quipped at Jay. He watched as fire lit in his son's eyes. Good. The boy had been too spoiled by his mother and needed the toughening up. Pat had spent a lot of years making sure this world wouldn't chew up and spit out his soft pretty boys. They had to learn to be men and he wasn't about to be called a failure on that front. "Found a woman worth hanging on to," he explained his comment. "Don't screw it up." 

The looks on their faces were worth the trip to the hospital. His son was a cross between disgusted with the backhanded compliment and looking at his girl with pride. And the spitfire was gulping for air, not sure if she wanted to throw something at him for insulting her man or accept the praise. He was disappointed he would never know what her next move was because the show was interrupted by the hospital staff coming in and announcing they were ready to transport him up to surgery. He pretended to ignore Jay and Erin as they wished him luck and promised to be here when he woke up, not wanting to let on that it meant anything at all to him. 

After getting some snacks and coffee and calling Will again to update him, Jay and Erin settled in the waiting room. 

"Thank you," Jay said slinging his arm over Erin's shoulder. She snuggled in to his side best she could for the long wait. 

"Of course, I'm glad I could help," she said kissing his cheek. "But don't tell Will that, he promised he'd make it up to me and I want to collect,"'she said, a scheming smile on her face. 

Jay laughed, not feeling sorry for his brother. If Will wanted to crash on his couch he deserved everything Erin could dish out. 

"How the hell do you do it?" Jay asked after they'd sat sipping coffee for a bit. 

"Do what?" 

"Win them all over?" Jay asked truly puzzled. 

"Who?" She asked confused. 

"You know the miserable scary ones. Voight, Platt, my dad. What the hell is your secret?"

Erin shrugged. "I don't know, guess I'm just special," she smiled sweetly up at Jay. He wrinkled his face at her then kissed the top of her head, breathing in her scent. He may not agree with his dad on most things but Patrick Halstead was right about one thing, Erin was definitely worth keeping.


	9. Chapter 9

Another one that combines a few requests including 'can Hank and Papa Halstead meet,' and the very popular 'can I please have a hurt Erin and Halsteadx2 taking care of her.' Of course you can! Hope you enjoy! 

/

She felt like she was in one of those movies where time slowed down and everything moved in slow motion. She heard shouting behind her as she made her way towards the exit stairs of the L, having opted to do some Christmas shopping this way rather than vie for parking and deal with the Saturday before Christmas traffic. She turned to see what the commotion was and that's when time slowed. Before she could side step the man, dark coat flapping like a cape behind him he was running so fast, he barrelled into her. She felt her feet leave the ground as he propelled her backwards. Her grip on her bag let go as her arms instinctively came up and out trying to reach for anything that would slow or break her fall. The last thing she remembered thinking was 'oh fuck, this is gonna hurt!' 

/

"... and order a CT scan. Let's get her up to ortho to get that leg set," she heard a familiar voice instructing someone. She could feel a presence at her side and wildly reached out, not yet in full control of her motor skills, grabbing at fabric. 

"Hey slugger," he said soothingly. She moaned then blinked her eyes open slowly. His brown ones stared back at her a little closer than she expected. She frowned. Those where the wrong colour eyes, this was not the man she wanted to wake to. And where was she anyway? What the hell happened? He saw the confusion on her face. "You're okay, Erin. You're at Med. Some bumps and brusises and a few broken bones to tend to but you're gonna be okay," he said reassuringly. 

She blinked again trying to clear her head. The memory of falling came to her and on its heals the pain. She closed her eyes, squeezing Will's coat tighter. 

"We gave you something to take the edge off for when you came to. I know how you feel about pain meds but say the word and I'll get you something stronger," Will offered, uncurling her fingers from his medical coat and taking her hand in his. 

Erin tried to take some deep breaths but that just brought more pain. She shifted and couldn't stop the strangled cry that escaped her. A tear betrayed her, the pain was so intense. 

"Easy there. You cracked a few ribs and broke your leg," he said trying to settle her. "I think I should give you something. They're going to want to when they set your leg anyway."

Reluctantly Erin nodded. As much as she wanted to tough it out she felt slightly panicked not being able to fully draw air in. "Jay," she croaked out. 

"He'll be here soon, Maggie gave him a call. We're gonna keep you for awhile after they set your leg so I'll see you in a bit," Will promised as he pushed the pain meds into her iv. 

Warmth spread through Erin and she closed her eyes at the sensation. 

/

It had been a completely unpleasant experience, even with the pain meds, but she'd survived getting her leg set and casted and was back in the ED. Within minutes of being wheeled into a room Jay appeared. 

"Hey," he said coming to her side. Her eyes were glossy from the meds Will told him she was on but he could still see pain in her eyes. Carefully he brushed her hair off her face and bent to kiss her. "How you doing?" He asked gently. 

"Okay," she lied. 

"You know if you didn't want to go to the Christmas party tonight you could have just said so," Jay teased gently. His efforts earned him a half smile. 

"I did want to go actually, had a little dress all picked out for you. And I sure as hell didn't want to be benched from work," she grumbled. "Was anyone else hurt?" She asked, knowing that someone in Intelligence would have talked to the emergency responders and pulled footage from the train platform already. 

"No, but Ruzek called to update me while I was waiting for you to come back from getting your cast, cameras got a good look at the guy who knocked into you. He was stealing someone's purse when he took you out. They got a hit off facial recognition and were out looking for him." He didn't tell her Adam had sent him a clip of the video, his stomach had twisted into knots watching Erin awkward fall down the stairs and even though Will had told him she was going to be fine he felt much better now that he was sitting here next to her and she was talking to him. 

True to his word Will discharged Erin when all her test results checked out. He'd given her a speech about taking it easy but she didn't want to tell him he had nothing to worry about because she had no plans on doing anything but lay down. She couldn't risk letting on just how crappy she felt. They were already hovering over her too much as it was. 

The boys had some inclination things were pretty bad when she didn't protest the wheelchair ride out to the car. She heard them murmuring above her but only managed to make out that Will would stop somewhere before he came home. 

Home. She couldn't believe they were into his third month of sleeping on their couch. But she knew he had found an apartment, Jay was helping him screen roommates this time, and he was moving out after the holidays. 

As much as she was looking forward to him leaving she was kind of glad he'd be there for Christmas. The holidays were not her favourite time of year, filled with too many pathetic childhood memories, and this would be the first one without Justin. But she had enjoyed going with Will, Natalie, Owen and Jay last week to pick out Christmas trees. The group had gone to Nat's to decorate Owen's tree then Jay and Erin returned home alone with their smaller one, Will spending his first overnight at Nat's. It was a big step for them, Nat letting Owen wake up with Will there. Erin and Jay got distracted half way through decorating the tree when they realized they had the apartment to themselves for the night. They made use of the time and festive energy in much more intimate ways, leaving the tree for Will to finish the next day. 

Erin stood now, all her weight on her good leg, smiling at the tree and remembering how they'd teased and loved each other that night, while Jay rearranged the couch to accommodate her beat up body. 

"You sure you don't want to go to bed babe? Maybe sleep would help more than watching tv?" Jay asked. He looked up from fussing with pillows to see how she was holding up waiting for him. She was staring dreamily across the apartment, a small smile on her face. He followed her gaze to the tree then looked back to her. He chuckled, catching her attention. "That was an amazing night, one I'd very much like to repeat but you need to rest baby," Jay slid his arms gently around her waist and peppered her forehead with light kisses before helping her onto the couch. 

She fought like hell to contain the pain shooting though her body as Jay helped her settle but a sharp hiss escaped her lips. It had the effect she suspected it would on Jay, causing him to fuss over her more. She adored this man but right now all she wanted was to be left in peace to stare at the tv. 

Jay watched her carefully all evening. She drifted in and out of sleep in front of the tv and refused to let him help her to the bed where he was sure she'd be more comfortable. At least he'd managed to get a bit of food into her. He hated seeing her in such pain, wincing at every little movement. 

"Can you get me another blanket," she asked her voice barely a whisper when she woke from her most recent nap. 

"You're still cold?" Jay asked, surprised she wasn't sweating under the layers she was already cocooned in. Erin just nodded feebly at him. "Why don't you let me take you to bed?"

"I mean I know I look irresistible decked out in bruises and a cast and you are a god between sheets but I think I need a night off babe," Erin tried to joke. 

"That's not what I meant," Jay laughed. "Although you're gorgeous no matter what. Just thought maybe if we went to bed I could help keep you warm, wait, did you say I was a god in bed?"

"Hmm?" Erin asked innocently. 

"You did," he said, crouching down beside her with a huge grin on his face. "You admitted I'm a god."

"Don't know what you're talking about, must be the pain meds talking," she said trying to brush him off but Jay caught the corner of her mouth turning up in a smile. 

"Come on," Jay turned off the tv but she still shook her head no. "Did I tell you about the article I read about cuddling?" He asked as he bent back down to lift Erin off the couch. "They did a study and they found that cuddles were a more effective at relieving pain then pain killers." Jay winked at her and gave her his most charming smile. She couldn't help but smile back and give into him then. "Let's get you settled in bed, I'll keep you warm." 

Jay slipped his arms under Erin, thankful she was finally letting him put her to bed. When his hands made careful contact with her body he was shocked to feel how hot she was. He withdrew one hand and placed it against her forehead. It was burning and her skin was clammy. "Babe you're on fire," he said concerned. He reached for his phone to call Will when he heard his key in the door. Dropping his phone, he walked down the hall to greet his brother. 

"Didn't expect you guys would still be up. I picked up what we talked about earlier," Will said holding up the bags by way of greeting. 

"I was just calling you. I think Erin's running a fever." 

Will dropped everything onto the kitchen island and came over to examine Erin. 

"Hey beautiful, how you feeling?" Will asked gently. 

Erin shrugged as Will pressed a hand to her forehead then pulled some things out of his medical kit. He checked her breathing and blood pressure and frowned. Erin was too tired to push him away but she wished he'd just stop fussing and let Jay take her to bed. 

"What?" Jay asked impatiently hovering over them. 

"Her pressure is low and I don't like the way things sound on her left side," Will said still examining Erin. "I think we should take her back to the hospital." 

"Really?" Erin pleaded. 

"Sorry slugger but I need to have a look at your chest." Will apologized. 

Erin huffed, "Jay's trying to have sex with me and you want a peep show, can't a girl just have a night off!" But her attempt to make the boys smile fell flat as she watched the concerned looks deepen between them. 

Jay passed Will the car keys. "I'll carry her, you bring the car up to the door." 

"I can hobble same as I got here," Erin said reaching out for a hand up. But the world spun a little too quickly when she finally got to her feet making her stomach roll. 

"I'm carrying you," Jay insisted scooping her up. 

/

Erin woke to the sound of two male voices speaking in angry whispers. 

"This is on you Will, you're the one who said she was fine to go home."

"Her test results were good, you think I would have released her if they weren't? I told you to watch her, you couldn't even tell me how long she'd been running a fever for."

Erin tried to get her voice to work, to stop them from arguing, but something was in her mouth she felt its presence pushing against the back of her throat causing her gag reflex to kick in. The coughing drew Will and Jay's attention, both rushing to calm her. Her eyes went wide when Will explained they'd had to intubate her and she was on a ventilator. After a few minutes of checking all her stats Will told her he'd remove the tube in her throat. 

"You sure this time?" Jay shot him a glare. 

"You honestly think I'd let anything bad happen to her?" Will bit back. Erin interrupted their glaring match by tugging on Will's arm. She wanted the damn tube out and now. As he removed it she gaged then winced at the pain both in her now very raw throat and also the pain in her ribs when she coughed. It was much more intense than before and it was an effort just to lift her head to accept the sip of water Jay offered her. She swallowed as carefully as she could then closed her eyes, praying the pain would leave. 

"What happened?" She whispered. 

"Your lung filled with fluid. It was touch and go there for a bit," Will answered quietly. She could feel Jay's fingers stroking across her forehead and down her cheek. 

"A bit? How long have I been here?" Her voice was horse and weak. 

"Two days," Jay answered, the weariness in his voice had her eyes shooting open to look at him. He looked exhausted. She reached up to run her fingers through the two days growth of facial hair lining his jaw. 

"This is what I have to do to get you to grow it out?" She teased, trying to get the crinkles of concern around his eyes to soften. She hated that she'd worried him. It worked a little and he rewarded her with a small smile. 

"I'll never shave again if you promise not to scare me like this again." Jay took her hand in his and pressed it to his lips. 

"She's awake," a gruff voice called from the doorway. 

"Yeah, just. And they're already making out like the sickening love birds they are," Will greeted Hank. 

"They've never been good keeping their hands to themselves," Hank muttered disapprovingly. But he chuckled at the glare Erin sent him and the offended pout on Jay's face. "How you feeling?" he said bending to kiss Erin on the forehead. 

"Like a million bucks," she lied sarcastically but tried to smile. 

Hank sat and visited with her for awhile before his phone buzzed with a work issue and he reluctantly left to deal with it, promising to come back later. 

/

The sound of quiet laughing woke her. It took a few seconds for Erin to remember where she was before she peaked her eyes open and looked in the direction the sound had come from. Will and Jay were sitting hunched over the small table by the window and talking quietly. As her eyes focused she realized they were playing chess. She smiled at the sight of them. Clearly their earlier argument was forgotten. She was grateful for that. She hated the idea of them fighting, especially since she seemed to be the cause. She enjoyed a few minutes of watching them before Jay felt her eyes on him and looked over at her. He smiled and came to her side, brushing her hair off her face. 

"Hey you, how you feeling?"

She couldn't answer as Will was already up and poking and prodding her. "I thought you worked in the ED?" Erin complained trying to push his hands off her. 

"I have the day off," he smiled affectionately at her. 

"So why the hell are you here?" She grumbled. 

"Where else would I be?" The hurt look on Will's face had Erin regretting her stubborn outburst. She wasn't use to having people fuss over her and she hated being stuck in the hospital feeling like she'd been run over by a truck. 

"I'm sorry, I just feel like crap," Erin admitted. 

Will nodded while he finished checking her blood pressure. "It's alright slugger, rather have you pissed off at me while you're confined to a bed, less chance of having my nose broken," he said with a wink. 

"Can I get you anything babe?" Jay interjected. 

"Suppose you won't break me out of this jail?" 

"Not today sweetheart," he said trying to soften his refusal with a kiss. "How about some ice chips for your throat?" She frowned at the poor consolation prize but nodded. 

When Jay got back with Erin's ice Will had left to check in with Erin's doctor and Hank had returned and was sitting next to her holding her hand and talking quietly. She still looked pale and weak though Will said she was definitely on the upswing. Jay couldn't get the image of her laying helpless in the bed with machines helping her breathe from his mind. Four days ago she'd chased a perp six blocks before tackling him into a snow bank and cuffing him, now she could barely lift her head without wincing in pain to sip at the icy water he'd brought her. 

/

He could hear quiet voices talking as he stood outside the doorway. This was stupid. He didn't know why he'd bother to come, it's not like the girl liked him. But when his oldest son had stopped by this morning to check up on him and told him what had happened to the spitfire, well, he felt sorry for her. He'd been nothing but mean to her these last months yet she kept coming round, taking her turn with his boys to check up on him. He hated that they did that. It made him feel useless and weak and he made sure to take it out on them all. But he couldn't get the image of the strong girl laying in a hospital bed hooked up to machines. And now here he somehow was. He'd even gone into the gift shop on impulse and bought her some damn flowers because that's what his wife would have done. His wife had never turned up anywhere without bringing a gift. He looked at the bouquet of daisies in his hand and felt stupid. She wouldn't want to see him, none of them would. 

"Dad?" Will called from behind him causing Patrick to turn. "What are you doing here? Are you okay?" The surprise and concern in Will's eyes made Patrick feel even more of an idiot. He turned to look for an escape but it was too late. Jay emerged from Erin's room having heard Will, looking just as perplexed. 

"You came to visit Erin?" Jay asked incredulously.

"I, ah, I just," Patrick's temper mounted at his inability to form words. Damn these boys for making him feel like a stupid old man. 

"Come on Dad, you're here now you might as well come in and see her. She's gonna get a kick out of this," Will chuckled eying Jay. Patrick reluctantly moved into the room. 

Patrick Halstead had seen a lot of sick people in his day but he was still shocked as hell taking in the sight before him. She was pale and tiny and barely spoke above a whisper. The fire that usually lit her eyes was replaced by pain. He didn't like this. Not one bit. She should be up bossing his ornery ass around and matching him quip for quip. He glanced at his youngest son who clearly hadn't shaved or slept in days. Jay fussed over the girl, trying to help her sit up more, worry straining his face. The love between the two charged the room. 

A bulldog of a man about his own age stepped in front of him and stretched his hand out. "Dr. Halstead, Hank Voight, your sons in my unit," he greeted him warmly, nodding towards Jay. "It's nice to finally meet you. Your son's a hell of a cop. I'm damn lucky to have him."

"It's Pat," he said accepting Hank's hand, but said nothing further still too shaken by Erin's fragile state. He didn't miss the look on Jay's face interpreting his silence at Hank's compliment as a slight. 

"Pat," Erin greeted him, trying to smile. "This is a surprise." 

He stepped awkwardly towards her. "Will mentioned you were laid up, I was in the hospital for an appointment," he lied. "Thought I'd bring you these." He held the flowers out to her. 

He caught Will and Jay exchanging a look, both boys knowing full well there was no such appointment today, but to their credit they said nothing. 

Erin smiled again, this time a little brighter. "Thank you, they're beautiful."

"How are you feeling?" He found himself asking. A chair appeared behind him and Jay motioned for him to sit. His usual rude comeback at being ushered around didn't come, instead scanning both Erin and the machines she was connected to in an age old habit. He didn't wait for her reply as he sat, instead looking to Will to give him a proper fill in on her status. The two men discussed medical terms and the best course of treatment until Erin interrupted them. 

"You know I'm right here right? And that neither of you is actually my doctor?" Pat smiled then, relieved to see despite her current predicament she still had some fire in her. 

"You'll have to excuse my girl, she's not one for hospitals or good with letting people take care of her," Hank apologized. Erin shot him a dirty look. 

Pat nodded about to dismiss the apology, he was quite use to Erin's mouth by now and completely empathize with her views on hospitals, when awareness dawned. "You're girl? You're the man who raised this little spitfire?" Hank nodded, pride clear on his face. "Hell of a fine job you did."

Hank chuckled. "I can't take any of the credit for that. She's a product of her own hard work, and maybe a bit of my late wife's influence."

"Okay again, I'm right here," Erin whispered with annoyance but no one missed the embarrassed flush colouring her cheeks. They all thought the colour looked good on her. 

Hank chatted freely with Pat, the two men finding they had shared aquatintences and similar upbringings in the city. Jay sat perched on Erin's bed, absently drawing patterns across her knuckles with his thumb. The whole scene was surreal. Anyone passing Erin's room by would think they were a typical family, completely unaware at how dysfunctional this group really was. But Erin seemed about as content and relaxed as she could be given the circumstances, watching the men who called themselves their fathers talk and laugh. 

When she had difficulty keeping her eyes open both Hank and Pat said their goodbyes. Pat watched as Hank bent to kiss the girl's forehead and offer her some affectionate words. When he stepped back Erin stretched her hand out to Pat. He hesitated, not one for showing affection, but her eyes dared him to refuse her. He could practically hear her calling him a chicken. He would not be bested by her, letting her think he was afraid, so he took her hand and placed a chase kiss on her head and tried to step back but she held his hand firmer than he thought would be possible given how weak she looked. 

"What are you doing for Christmas?" She asked quietly. 

"Not sure thats any of your business," he snapped, trying to pull away. No way was he going to get ropped into some ridiculous social event. 

"Well I'm making it my business. Your first born seems to have talked my actual doctor into holding me prisoner here over Christmas. So since I have to suffer, I think it's only fair I play the sympathy card and rope as many people as possible into suffering with me," She said pinning him with her big round eyes. 

He tried to glare at her, the stare he used on the boys whenever they got some ridiculous notion in their heads. They always backed down when he gave them that look but not this one, she just continued to wait him out. 

He heard snickering behind him and turned to glare at the offenders. His boys had the nerve to not bother wiping the grins off their faces. 

"There's no point in protesting dad, just give her what she wants," Jay laughed. 

"And quick before she knocks you out," Will added. 

Pat withdrew his hand and grunted, annoyed with the whole lot of them. He left the room without speaking a word to any of them. 

"I understand your relationship with your family is complicated," Pat heard a voice call after him in the hall. He turned and watched Hank approach him. "I haven't always done the best with mine either. Lost my wife to cancer several years back like you. Lost my son this past year too. And I would have lost Erin if not for your boys, especially Jay. She's had a real rough go of it. Holidays especially remind her of that. It's not like Erin to ask for much, especially not this time of year."

"You trying to guilt trip me here Hank?" Pat snapped. 

"No of course not. A man has a right to spend his time the way he likes, especially the holidays. Just wanted to help you understand, Erin's not one to play games. She doesn't have some secret agenda here. Just wants the people she cares about close."

Pat huffed. "She's no reason to care about me."

"You're wrong there. That girl adores your son. Would jump in front of a bullet for him. He's her family. Your his father. That's reason enough for her to care."

The men shared a look for a long moment, the understanding only a father could have passing between them. Patrick shook his head in defiance. 

"I'll see what I can do," he mumbled then walked away.


	10. 10

Just want to take a second to thank you for your continued support. This story wouldn't be possible without any of you since it's composed entirely of your prompts. (This last chapter covering several all at once) It's been a lot of fun to write, so thank you for this experience! Although I've tried to connect with everyone who's left a review or messaged me, many of you are sweet enough to leave reviews as 'guests' and I don't get the opportunity to let you know how good your notes make me feel. So thank you! 

This is the final chapter. I hope you enjoy it! Xoxo

/

 

They were a pathetic pair. Anyone in the bar could see it. Two fully grown men, one a damn cop, let a woman confined to a bed whoop their asses. Okay so she hadn't actually laid a finger on either of them, a fact that made their retreat even more pathetic because they'd still run, tail between legs, from the room when she'd ordered them out. 

They'd only been trying to help her, both bothered by the amount of pain she was clearly in. But Erin wasn't having any of it and after repeatedly pleading with them to just leave her be she'd resorted to throwing her cup of ice chips at Will's head to get her message across. Jay could have kicked himself for not realizing sooner that she just needed a bit of time alone. Erin had always valued her personal space and since she'd been pushed down the stairs last Saturday she'd had no room to breathe. She'd probably felt like the walls were closing in on her and since she couldn't retreat herself, she needed them to get out of her hair for a bit. 

He'd grabbed Will and backed out of the room, reminding her he was only a phone call away should she need anything, before Erin could cause herself any harm trying to make her point. So now here they were sat sulking in a corner booth of the bar across from the hospital nursing beers and emasculated egos. 

"She's got you whipped," Will jabbed at his brother. 

"And she's got you scared of your own shadow," Jay shot back. 

"You like being a house husband," Will continued, ignoring Jay's comment. 

"And you like having someone to gang up on me with."

"I do. Don't fuck it up." Will smirked. 

Jay shot Will a nasty look. Jay wasn't the one who burned through women. "I don't plan to."

"So why haven't you asked me to get mom's ring from the safety deposit box yet?" Will challenged. 

Jay chuckled humourlessly. "Because I'm not gonna fuck things up with her, remember?"

"Asking the woman you love to marry you is fucking things up?" 

"It is when the woman you love is Erin Lindsay." He didn't need to elaborate. Jay had told Will about Erin's commitment issues. 

"Maybe before, but I don't think that's true anymore." Will countered taking a pull of his beer. 

"You honestly think I'm gonna take relationship advice from you?" Jay laughed incredulously. 

Will considered Jay's words and winced a bit when he though of his relationship track record. "Okay fair enough, but maybe in this case you should. After all I am the one who's talked to Erin about the two of you getting married."

Jay nearly spit out his beer in shock. "You talked to her about marrying me? Oh god Will, please tell me you didn't pull one of your stunts and fuck this up for me."

"Relax little brother. It's not what you think."

"Then please tell me what the hell you're talking about." Jay's humour had vanished and his tone was a mix of threatening and fear of what his brother had done. 

"Remember when I moved in and Erin made me take her to dinner and the musical?" Jay nodded and Will continued. "Well we got to talking and Erin admitted that her reasons for not wanting to get married weren't valid anymore, at least not when it comes to marrying you."

"She said that to you?" Jay couldn't believe his ears. 

"Well, maybe not in so many words, but she didn't deny that she had no valid reason not to marry you." Will clarified sheepishly. 

"That's a hell of a lot different then saying she wants to get married," Jay pointed out. Will only shrugged. "I don't know man," Jay trailed off. 

"You chicken?" Will goaded. 

"No!" Jay exclaimed adamantly. "No I'm not. I just don't want to make her feel like I'm pushing her into something she's not ready for or doesn't want and end up pushing her away."

"Fair enough, but all I'm saying is maybe she does want it."

Jay shook his head. He was exhausted. The last few days had been hell. There had been a brief period in the last two days where he thought he might loose Erin and he was pretty sure it would have destroyed him. He was too tired to think clearly about the idea of marriage now so he did the only logical thing. He turned the spotlight on Will. 

"What about you? Don't want to keep that ring for yourself? Not going to be needing it soon?" Jay chuckled, enjoying the way Will's face paled. 

"I mean, it's not that I don't want to, it's just, we just started dating and..."

Jay put up his hand to stop his brother's flailing. He knew it was too soon for Will to be thinking that way but he hadn't been able to resist watching him sputter. "I get it."

"Jesus Christ Jay what the hell is wrong with us?" Will exclaimed. "First we get kicked out of my own damn workplace by your woman now we're sitting here talking about weddings like a couple of damn girls."

"Maybe we should have invited dad. He could have given us another lesson on how to be real men," Jay said bitterly. 

Will mumbled his agreement. "Did you see him with Erin earlier? He brought her flowers and then kissed her!"

"Maybe you should have ordered a head exam for him at his last check up." 

"Maybe, or maybe I should order one for Erin. What the hell was she thinking inviting him to Christmas?"

"I don't know but I wouldn't worry much about it. He won't turn up."

"You're probably right." Will agreed. "But it was damn funny watching him squirm. Like a deer caught in headlights. I've never seen him like that. She rattles him."

Jay nodded, not surprised anymore that Erin could get to their father. "You should see her in the interrogation room." 

"I think I'd rather spend time in Voight's cage," Will fake shuttered then laughed. 

"You have no idea," Jay laughed with him before flagging the waitress down for a fresh round of beers. 

/

They'd tricked her and if their deception had landed her anywhere else then lounging on Hank's couch watching Danny unwrap the mountain of gifts she and Hank had spoiled him with she'd probably be kicking all their asses right now. The doctors wouldn't release her until after the holidays my ass, she thought. It had all been a ploy. Jay had snuck out of her room early this morning and returned freshly showered and changed, a bag of her personal things in one hand and her discharge papers in the other. 

It had only taken one of her glares to get him to admit he'd known for more than a day they were going to send her home Christmas morning and he'd confessed to wanting to surprise her, even if she wasn't big on Christmas, or surprises. But she had to admit going home Christmas morning was all the gift she could ever ask for. 

After helping her freshen up and dress Jay drove them over to Hank's, and then he shocked the hell out of her by staying. Olive had agreed to bring Danny down last night and spend Christmas Day in Chicago since they didn't get much chance to see him anymore. Erin had thought she'd miss getting to see him open his presents being laid up in the hospital but here she was taking in all his excitement.

Jay said Will had convinced Nat to bring Owen and her mom over for dinner too. And she was still holding out hope Pat would turn up. She still didn't believe they were going to have a real Christmas gathering or that Jay and Hank had spent a good forty five minutes alone in the kitchen preparing food for dinner, both emerging uninjured, both looking pleased with themselves. 

Erin had to admit, it was good the house would be so full of people again. With both Camille and Justin gone things were too quiet here and she admitted she had avoided coming over lately. The idea of the Voight house being empty at Christmas made her want to forget the holidays all together but sitting here watching Hank play on the floor with his grandson, the smells of Christmas dinner cooking in the next room, filled some of the emptiness Justin and Camille's absence left. 

She must have dosed off at some point because the next thing she knew the sound of Pat's gruff voice greeting Hank at the door was jolting her awake. She watched him pass Hank a large bottle of his favourite scotch before removing his coat and shoes. Jay shifted awkwardly next to her. She knew he wasn't happy with her inviting Pat to Christmas. She was slightly surprised herself when she'd made the offer but there was a part of her that had warmed to the old sourpuss and she might be willing to admit she kinda felt sorry for him spending the holidays alone. Mostly she was hoping that Pat would try and make things right with his boys, especially Jay, since they'd spent so much time caring for him lately. 

When his dad came in the room Jay hesitated before gently sliding Erin's legs off his lap and rising to greet him. There was a silent pause before Pat stuck out his hand. "Merry Christmas," he offered Jay with a flat voice. Erin silently let go the breath she was holding when Jay clasped his father's hand and mumbled the greeting back. "Got you this," he said pushing an envelope towards a stunned Jay. 

Pat didn't wait for a response and moved around Jay to greet Erin. Of course he treated her to an almost smile as he asked how she was feeling. He brushed a hurried and awkward kiss on her forehead before dropping a gift bad into her lap. "It's not much," he mumbled offhandedly. 

"Thank you," she replied. Her voice was still softer than normal, the pain in her chest not completely gone yet. "There's a bag under the tree for you, Jay and I got you something too. Can you grab it babe?" Erin asked, looking up at Jay. 

"We did? I mean yeah sure," Jay recovered and searched under the tree for his dad's gift. He hadn't bothered to look at the tags when he'd scooped all the presents from under their tree at home and brought them over yesterday knowing they'd be celebrating here. He'd never even considered getting something for his father, they hadn't exchanged gifts since before his mother had passed but Jay was glad Erin had thought of him now that the old man had surprised the hell out of Jay and brought them something. He wasn't sure his dad deserved whatever she'd got but at least his dad couldn't accuse him of having bad manners. 

Hank returned with drinks and Jay watched as Erin opened her gift, a pair of black leather gloves. She gifted his father with one of her heart stopping smiles. "Their wonderful, thank you."

Pat's discomfort receiving her praise was evident but Jay didn't miss the pride that shone in his eyes at having made Erin happy. "I didn't know what you liked. I told the sales girl you were a cop and she suggested those," he shrugged. 

Erin's smile grew bigger. Jay looked up at the ceiling, waiting for lightening to strike the house and all of them dead at the impossibility of this scene. Wait until he told Will their father had actually gone to the mall, actually spoke to a sales associate, and actually bought Christmas gifts.

"What about you?" Erin broke Jay from his thoughts. "What'd you get?"

Jay cleared his throat and slid his finger under the seal of the envelope. He half expected it to be empty, not putting it past his dad to play the cruel joke. After all the man had been in the house a good twenty minutes and hadn't taken a jab at Jay. That was fifteen minutes longer than he'd ever gone before. Shock was the only emotion Jay could muster when he pulled out two centre ice tickets for an upcoming Blackhawks game from the envelope. 

"Dad, I... how did you?" Jay sputtered. 

"You think you're the only one who knows people?" Pat sneered. 

Erin watched Jay's eyes turn hard and silently pleaded with him to hold his patience. Jay closed his eyes and swallowed his pride. "These are great, thank you," he replied mustering as much gratitude as he could. After all they were amazing tickets and Jay had no doubt he'd enjoy the game. 

Pat nodded but his expression was still guarded. One pair of hockey tickets was not going to undo the years of resentment and hostility between the two. 

"You're turn," Erin cut in ending the uncomfortable silence. 

"You really didn't have to get me anything," Pat began awkwardly. Being here was already bad enough, he didn't think he had it in him to pretend to like whatever nonsense the girl had picked out. 

"Just open it," she demanded. 

Pat didn't miss Hank's snort of laughter. It was clear the girl was feeling better the way she fired the words at him. When he pulled the jersey from the bag Pat was left dumb struck. 

"Holy shit," he heard his son mutter. 

"It's the right one right?" He heard the girl ask uncertainly. Pat's eyes roamed the White Sox jersey again taking in the name "Kittle" stitched across the back and the signature scrawled beneath it in dark ink. Words still wouldn't come. 

"He was a hell of a player," Hank filled the silence. 

"He was dad's favourite. Will's going to freak when he sees that!" Jay exclaimed, still surprised Erin not only knew his dad's favourite player but had somehow managed to get her hands on an autographed jersey. Lord knows the man didn't deserve it but he couldn't help but fall a little more in love with Erin for getting such a perfect gift. 

"I, umm" Pat began finally coming out of his trance. "This is, ah... this is damn near the nicest gift I've ever got," He stampeded out, he didn't care if his emotions betrayed him. He was holding an important piece of history in his hands. "I took the boys to see him play a few times," Pat said. 

"I know," Erin smiled. "They've both told me stories about watching baseball with you."

Pat met Jay's eyes across the room. "Guess it was about the only time we weren't arguing," Pat observed. Jay could have corrected the old goat. They didn't argue. Patrick Halstead yelled, belittled, demeaned and Jay stood and took it silently. But he kept those thoughts to himself and recognized his father's statement for what it was; a Halstead's version of an apology, probably the closest to one he'd ever get. He gave his dad a slight nod. Jay couldn't wipe the slate clean. There was too many years of hurt for that. But he could put it aside for one day. He told himself he was doing it for Erin and no one could convince him otherwise. 

Afternoon slid into evening and the smells of turkey filled the house. Jay kept checking his watch. Will was already running late and hadn't bothered to reply to any of Jay's messages. He'd kill Will if he screwed the plan up. Jay should have known better than to trust Will with something so important. He sighed and looked at his watch again. Nat was due with her mother and son any minute and Will wasn't going to be here to introduce them to their father. Yet another thing Will was screwing up today. 

"Somewhere else you'd rather be boy?" His father accused after seeing Jay look down at his watch for about the hundredth time in minutes. 

"No," Jay checked his temper at his father's accusation. He promised to make this a happy day for Erin and he wouldn't be the one to loose it first. "Just wondering where Will is. He was supposed to be here by now."

"Ha!" Pat cried. "That boy has never been on time for anything in his life! Easter will come and go if we wait on that birdbrain much longer." Jay was having a hard time finding a reason to disagree with that assessment. 

Not five minute later Jay's phone rang with a number he recognized as the ED at Med. Goosebumps broke out on his arms, Will hadn't been scheduled to work today. 

Jay glanced nervously at Erin before answering. "Halstead."

"Will, its Maggie." Came a shaky voice on the other end. 

"Merry Christmas Maggie, what can I do for you?" Jay asked but he already knew she was about to give him bad news by the tremor in her voice. 

"It's Will. They brought him in a little while ago. I guess he was on his way to see you and,"

"How bad?" Jay cut her off, jumping to his feet unaware that everyone in Voight's living room had tuned into the concern in his voice. 

"Brett said he was hit head on,"

Jay didn't hear the rest of Maggie's words, panic drowning out all sound. No, no, no, Jay shook his head, this couldn't be happening. He'd barely survived Erin's accident. This couldn't be happening now, not even a week later. He couldn't go through this again. Will needed to be okay. 

"So can you?" Maggie asked again. 

"What?" Jay tried to clear his head. What had she just told him? 

"I said the car is a write off and he's got a pretty nasty bump on his head. Choi thinks he'll be okay but I think it's better if you came and got him."

Jay let out a long breath. "Yeah. I'll be right there." He said before disconnecting. He looked up from his phone to see several pairs of anxious eyes on him. "He's okay, got in a car accident, cars a write off and he's a bit banged up but apparently good to go. I have to go pick him up," he explained. 

Erin relaxed a bit but still felt the need to comfort Jay. "I'd go with you, but," 

Jay smiled appreciatively at her. "I know babe. It's okay, you don't need to be moving around any more than necessary. I'll be back soon." He reassured her as he bent to kiss her goodbye. 

"We'll hold dinner until your back," Voight assured him. Jay gave a nod of thanks and headed out the door. 

/

Nasty bump was a bit of an understatement Jay thought as he walked in the doctor's lounge where Maggie said Will was waiting. Apparently Will had been a difficult patient and refused to stay in an exam room, plopping down on the couch in here instead. 

"Getting a good gawk in?" Will grumbled seeing Jay standing staring at him. 

"Looks more like someone took a baseball bat to your head. Who's boyfriend you piss off this time?"

"You always think you're so funny," Will rolled his eyes as he gingerly stood up. "Trust me steering wheels are harder than you'd think. And can we just let the boyfriend thing go already? I told you Cathy McNeil never told me she had a boyfriend or that he was an amature fighter. I wouldn't have slept with her had I know."

Jay chuckled as he helped steady Will on his feet before picking up the Christmas presents Will had retrieved from his car and convinced Brett to let him bring along in the ambo. "Yes you would have, you just wouldn't have bragged about hooking up with her to anyone would listen, letting the news get back to Frank."

"You wouldn't have said no to her either had you seen the pair of,"

"Okay playboy, I don't need a rehash of all the details." Jay cut him off. "You sure you're good to leave?"

"Yeah, just a nasty headache and some aches and pains. Nothing a good drink and an even better neck rub from Nat won't cure." Will winked knowingly at Jay. "But I would like to get my hands on the idiot who hit me. Wrote my damn car off. Like I can afford to buy a new one now." He whined as they wove through the ED towards the exit. 

"We'll worry about that later. Let's just get you back to Voight's before dad sends Nat running for the hills and you're shit out of luck on the neck rub."

"You mean you won't take pity on your poor injured brother and do it?"

"Hell no," Jay shuddered in horror. 

"Find, I'll just ask Erin then." Will teased, stopping to hug Maggie goodbye and wish her a Merry Christmas. 

"The only part of Erin that's touching you is gonna be her foot in your ass if you keep her waiting on Christmas dinner much longer slow poke, lets go." Jay said, gently shoving his brother towards the door. 

Will shook his head. "Having little brothers is way over rated."

"And bailing your sorry ass out of trouble every two minutes is aggravating."

"Funny I didn't seem to be such a pain in your ass when you needed me for this," Will gloated as he tapped the pocket of his jacket knowingly. 

"Yeah well lets just get to Voight's before you find a way to screw that up too," Jay growled. 

"Gee thanks for your concern little brother. Glad to know how happy you are I'm not dead." 

Jay stopped mid stride in the hospital parking lot and swiped his hand down his face before turning and looking at his brother. "I am glad you're not dead. It's just been a strange day, seeing Erin in so much pain sucks, dad's being all weird, cooking Christmas dinner with my boss is beyond strange and getting a call from Maggie that you'd been admitted didn't help. I'm just anxious to get back to Erin okay?"

"Get back? Sounds like we should be driving as far as possible in the other direction." Will chuckled. 

Jay's glare returned. Why he'd expected Will to be serious for just a moment he didn't know. 

"You do realizes after you take care of this," Will patted his pocket again, "this is pretty much how every Christmas is gonna go right?" Will asked watching Jay put the packages in his trunk. 

"You do realize if you plan on totalling your car and smashing up your face every Christmas you can find someone else to come pick your ass up right?" Jay said slamming the trunk closed. 

"The love in the air right now is so overwhelming," Will called across the roof of the car to Jay. 

"There's something in the air, maybe you should shower more than once a week." Jay laughed heartedly at childish face Will made accompanied by the double dose of middle fingers Will flipped Jay before disappearing into the car. 

/

Jay wanted to wipe the smug grin off Will's face watching the way he milked every last drop of sympathy from the women in Voight's house. He didn't think he'd have much of an appetite left if he had to endure another second of them fussing over 'poor, hurt Will.' Will had taken up residence between Erin and Nat on the couch and was soaking up all their attention. The grin he sent Jay made it clear he knew exactly how much it was pissing Jay off he'd lost Erin's affection to him. At least for the moment. This was supposed to be his moment with Erin but of course once again Will had found a way to make it all about him. 

Jay retreated to the kitchen to help dish out dinner. "He's only doing it because he knows it gets under your claw," Pat observed. 

The unsolicited comment just about pushed Jay to his limit. As he opened his mouth to let loose his father held up his hand. 

"Now don't go taking all that pent up frustration on me. For once I'm not to blame. Why do you let him get to you anyway? You know that's why he does it. It's clear as day that girl adores you and only you. If you don't know that by now you're dumber than I thought." 

His comments only served to fuel Jay's fire. He knew he had two choices either unleash his anger in his father's face or get the hell out of the house. He turned towards the kitchen door but Voight stepped in his path, shoving a drink towards his hand. 

"Sit and drink this," he ordered. For a moment Jay forgot he was off duty and free to do what he liked, instead yielding to the commanding tone in his bosses voice. He took the drink, drank it down in one gulp and plopped in a kitchen chair. 

"Go easy on him Pat. Tonight's a big night for your son. He's got a lot weighing on his mind, the kind of thing that makes a man's palms sweat and patience short," Hank winked at Pat and gave Jay a sympathetic smile, recalling the conversation Jay had initiated with him yesterday outside Erin's hospital room. 

Pat's eyes narrowed in thought then went wide with understanding. He let out a single note of laughter. "Well I take it back then, you're just about the smartest man that ever walked the earth. I take it your brother knows?"

Jay nodded silently trying to figure out if his dad had meant his last words as a compliment. 

"Well no wonder he's being such an ass. That boy never did like anyone else having the spotlight. Just ignore his antics. You always did let him get to you far to easily." Pat observed as he carried a bowl of mash potatoes out to the dining room. 

Jay didn't have time to dwell on his father's words or consider that maybe he was blowing things way out of proportion because his nerves were starting to get the better of him because Voight shoved the platter of turkey into his hands. "Lets go, I've waited long enough to eat and if you have any hope of this night turning out the way you want we need to get some food into our girl."

Jay stood and followed his boss towards the table that was quickly being occupied by an eclectic mix of hungry people. He put down the platter and made his way to Erin's side, helping her sit. She smiled up at him and he felt his foul mood fall off. This was what tonight was about, making this woman smile. 

He looked around the table again. Will helped Nat secure Owen in his seat while Nat's mom cooed over Danny, distracting him long enough for Olive to get some unidentifiable mashed food into his mouth. Pat passed Hank wine glasses to fill while the shared a laugh over something Jay hadn't heard. 

Not for the first time today Jay stood in awe of a sight he couldn't have imagined in a million years. It shouldn't work, this mix of personalities should be explosive and disastrous. There was no way this group of people should have any reason to come together in celebration. It wasn't logical. Jay felt a tug on his tshirt and looked down at the reason why logic had been suspended. She was the reason they were all here, she'd won ever last one of the bull headed men in this room over and they were here, against all logic, because she'd asked for it. 

"You gonna sit and eat babe?" Erin asked.   
Her gaze turned quizzical when he only continued to stare at her. He'd had a plan for tonight. He'd taken the time to arrange it perfectly and logically, getting both Will and Hank on his side to help execute it. If there was one thing Jay was good at it was putting in place and executing logical planning. 

"Logic to hell," he murmured, causing Erin to ask him to repeat himself then gasp as he pushed his chair out of the way and bent to one knee. "This wasn't how I'd planned this," he said, taking her hand in his. "But then there's nothing about today that's gone to plan." Jay stopped and looked over at his brother. Will nodded, a huge grin on his face, got up and came to Jay's side passing him the ring he'd had hidden in his jacket earlier. Jay took it and turned his attention back to Erin. "I'm not exactly sure how I ended up at this table with this crew," he said shaking his head with an affectionate laugh "but I know I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you."

"That doesn't exactly sound like a compliment," Erin laughed, her eyes shining with emotion. 

Jay laughed too. None of this was coming out the way she deserved but from the look on her face he could tell the words didn't really matter. He already knew what her answer would be. 

"Would you two stop making puppy dog eyes at each other and get to it already, dinners getting cold," Will heckled them. 

"Shut up red, you're ruining my moment," Erin glared at him. She turned back to Jay and smiled. "Sorry, you were about to say something?"

Jay laughed again. Nope there was definitely no room for logic and carefully laid plans when it came to a life with Erin. Jay cleared his throat, put aside his speech and gave the crowd what they wanted. "I love you. I want to be with you, always. Will you marry me?" 

He didn't know if she'd actually answered him before her lips crashed against his but he figured it was all the yes he needed. He was faintly aware of the cheers that went up around them before he broke the kiss and slipped his mother's ring on Erin's finger. 

The women oohed and awed over the ring while Hank led a toast to them before everyone set in to filling their plates with food, side conversations breaking out around the table. The moment finally passed, Jay relaxed into his chair, one hand laid on Erin's leg, and enjoyed his meal. 

"Pat would you mind passing the gravy?" Erin asked. 

"Sweetheart, you're wearing my wife's ring, I think it's time you call me dad." Pat replied matter of factly while he passed the gravy boat. 

Jay nearly spit out his mouthful of carrots. 

Erin glanced nervously at Hank who winked and tipped his glass towards her. 

"Forget the gravy," Will pipped in, saving Erin from responding. "The real question, Erin, is now that you've gotten over your fear of commitment, when do you plan on making me an uncle?"

Erin glared at him, an embarrassed flush staining her cheeks, so much for Will saving her. "Tell you what red. You stay off my couch for the next year and I'll let go of my urge to punch you right now and let you ask me that question again next Christmas. Now be a sweetie and go fill the gravy?"

Will, the memory of Erin's right hook still firmly engraved in mind, stood and collected the gravy boat from her. Jay broke out into a coughing fit that sounded suspiciously like the words 'house husband' causing Erin to break her glare and giggle. Will tossed a roll at Jay on his way out to the kitchen and Erin didn't miss the corner of Pat's mouth turn up in a slight smile. It was then that Erin realized for the first time she was actually looking forward to next Christmas, and every one after that she'd get to spend with her two favourite overgrown boys.


End file.
